• I don’t know what to say anymore

    by  • March 28, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 10 Comments

    I miss you. I guess that’s a start. I think about you and am torn. I’m torn between leaving well enough alone and…I don’t know. Maybe that’s the only option.

    I wonder what was going on the last time we spoke. Not unlike a deja vu huh? It’s weird but the whole time these words kept coming out of my mouth and I had no idea where they were coming from. Honestly I don’t remember half of what I said. Two articulate people stammering. I recall that. Is it odd to say that sometimes with us it feels like something other than us keeps us from being at an even keel? Yea, what a way to not take responsibility right? 😉

    Sounds bizarre, but I kept seeing you on the other end of the phone and our little world spinning and spinning out of control til I got whoozy and I hung up. Yeah, complete with whoosh whoosh sound effects. Haha. Silly I know.

    I hope you are happy and healthy. When and if you ever figure out what happened with us do me a solid and let me know. That boat dream I had about us without paddles is kinda ironic now though huh?

    Take care.

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    10 Responses to I don’t know what to say anymore

    1. same here
      March 28, 2014 at 12:53 am

      “It’s weird but the whole time these words kept coming out of my mouth and I had no idea where they were coming from. Honestly I don’t remember half of what I said.”

      I know this too well. They bring the best and the worst out of me. In the end – what’s always left – is confusion.




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    2. .
      March 28, 2014 at 2:14 am

      I miss you too.




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    3. author
      March 28, 2014 at 8:18 am

      @same- what I’ve realized with him is that confusion creates this chaos and it’s very easy to believe negative things. Especially if you’re used to being able to communicate openly and the other does not. They changed. Stuff gets dragged out, resentment and misunderstandings occur. Confusion turns into more confusion plus all the other stuff until someone asks themselves “why bother, they obviously don’t give a shit so why should I?” It’s frustrating when you are used to having good communication with a person and they change into someone else. Time does that I guess. It is what it is.




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    4. author
      March 28, 2014 at 10:12 am

      @. Sorry, not your person.




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    5. author
      March 28, 2014 at 10:17 am

      @., I’m curious. Do you regularly answer letters with specific details to screw with people? It’s fucked up to do that regardless if the author’s person is here or not.




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    6. M73
      March 28, 2014 at 10:48 am

      I love this letter!




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    7. hm
      March 28, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      “When and if you ever figure out what happened with us do me a solid and let me know.”

      I know this situation. I think I figured it out.They prefer to lead me on and I need to have a voice in what happens. I would prefer a real conversation, they don’t. My only option could be to paint a decision tree and give a response to everything they could have meant. But, that’s not part of their plan…




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    8. ...
      March 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm
    9. Mac
      April 1, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      Oh I’ll do you a solid all right, if given the chance of course. (Hypothetical response)

      Whoosh whoosh. You’re funny!

      Have you given your person a chance or are you failing to take responsibility and contributing to the back and forth?




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    10. author
      April 2, 2014 at 5:37 am

      @Mac. Yes. I actually reached out yesterday but have not heard back. If they don’t I won’t feel regretful I did and know I tried. It’s all good.




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