• YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE (Come back to me)

    by  • March 26, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 5 Comments

    M-

    As soon as you read this, you will know in your heart this is for you. We had something special – God, it was something else. Staying awake all night long to text each other because we didn’t want to miss anything. I know you didn’t forget.

    I cannot, for the life of me, ignore the words you said. For once in your life, you were happy. You weren’t stuck in some dead end relationship anymore that you wanted out of. You had me, and I had you.

    Since I have your attention, and you know who you are, let me say that (because of jealousy/bitterness over you and me) I had enemies. They lied to you. I don’t know what they said, but I know you cannot just shut off feelings like that. It had to be something that hurt you or left you feeling betrayed, and I wish I knew what it was. I may not have told you everything, but I would never hurt or deceive you. Ever. But you believed otherwise.

    Regardless, you left me. Again. It’s been a long, tough healing process, but I’ve made it through. I can’t say that if you texted me right now telling me you wanted to see me that I wouldn’t jump on the opportunity, so I’m begging you to stay away. My head is telling me to tell you to stay away, but my heart says try again. I can’t be hurt again. Not by you. So, unless you’re ready for something that’s beautiful, committed, and out of this world – then please stay right where you are.

    Last thing – I know I said some hurtful things. I was broken. But, baby, if you see this, know that whether you decide to come back or not, I would have loved you like no other. I would have adored you, been faithful to you, supported you and your kids. The thing is… I still will. I’ll always be here.

    I love you,

    -J

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    5 Responses to YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE (Come back to me)

    1. M
      March 26, 2014 at 8:26 pm

      I am so sick. The worst part, is that for the first time, I really wish this was you. I shut every part of my heart down in order not to feel. I go to places where we talk about this. I have spent thousands now to get over you, and not that I am leaving a place I would have made home, I allow myself to think that you have reached out. Why am I doing this to myself? I know you have moved on. And yet I have allowed myself and my friends to convince me that it might be you… I just got over you. I hate this. I’m a fool, ignore me. I’m being stupid again,




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    2. AUTHOR
      March 27, 2014 at 8:16 am

      I know my letters seems conflicting. “Come back… Stay where you are…” The thing is, M, that has been the internal conflict I’ve fought since you left me.

      If you choose to come back, you better have a hell of a plan to convince me that you won’t leave me and break my heart all over.

      That is all.

      I love you and those piercing green eyes.




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    3. mourning
      March 27, 2014 at 11:58 am

      Love can be so exhausting, when you get stuck before it can unfold to its full extent.




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    4. onlooker
      March 28, 2014 at 10:01 am

      @M. Look at it this way. It doesn’t matter if they are here or not. If YOU know inside that this person is not good for you then that is all that matters. Your “friends” true friends, would want you to be healthy and leave toxicity behind. I have been there. I also went to a psychiatrist for a time wondering why I would engage in a relationship so bad for me. The pull of certain people can be so great we forget ourselves and mental health. Look at it as the world testing you not to fall back into negative habits. Good luck.




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    5. Xxxxxxxx
      March 31, 2014 at 12:00 pm

      The first responder to this post is obviously not my ex. Her friends even told her that HE was bad for her, not me. Even her family was disgusted by what this man did. But, she had her reasons. And she made her choice. And it was not me. How I welcome the day when the thought of you ending us will not kill me inside.




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