• Words I couldn’t say

    by  • March 26, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 5 Comments

    I can’t rely on you. I never could. Plans always fall through, my reminders go unheeded, and you forget more than you remember. I should leave. I know I should. This isn’t going to last much longer. We’ve run our course, whether you realize it yet or not. But somehow I can’t bring myself to speak the words and end it. Am I afraid of being alone or just afraid of hurting you? It’s hard to throw away something you’ve had for over two years, something you fought so hard for. It’s hard to admit that all it was good for was a learning experience.

    5 Responses to Words I couldn’t say

    1. sounds too negative
      March 26, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      Seems like you planned everything in advance with a negative outlook. Why don’t you relax a bit and let life happen?

    2. shoulda, coulda, woulda
      March 26, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      Is that living?

    3. .
      March 26, 2014 at 12:50 pm

      So you have the end in mind, but you are not able to end it. I know this situation. You know what I did? I prepared my person to be able to move on without too much pain. I helped them to find a new way, helped them to get a new job, warned them that I will do something bad. But the end is always bad. You can’t prevent that. I can’t say that I could never rely on them and I still worship the time with them.

      What does it help to look at the past with regret? I don’t regret my life so far. It could have developed differently under different circumstances, but I can’t say if it would have been happier or just different. I’m grateful for every experience and I don’t like to look back and say, oh “I should have”. Yes, I made mistakes and I know, what I should have done differently. But I also know how I was thinking the time back then and I know that I would probably make the same mistakes, given the time, experiences, knowledge, self esteem and circumstances back then.

      Stop looking back and thinking “I should have” and stop looking into the future with such a negative attitude. It won’t help you. You live NOW, you can have NOW. Why don’t you fight for NOW? You need to change your perspective. What you say sounds somewhat passive aggressive and as if you planned to let it fail. Why is that?

    4. Sunshine
      March 26, 2014 at 7:01 pm

      Say something I’m giving up on

    5. @Sunshine
      March 27, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      What do you want them to say? Be honest with yourself. I’m really interested.

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