When we were together I wondered why there was no follow through. We are older now and part of it I understand and part of me never will.
After we were over and I moved on I was surprised how easy it was for someone else to give me the relationship you said you wanted but didn’t.
To this day you are still the same. But it’s not with me. Thankfully I played a different role in your life until recently so I saw it from the other side. Oh how weirdly comfortable it was just to be your confidant and “just a friend”.
I used to think you were selfish. Well, you do look out for yourself no matter what it does to others. And you do have issues with facing things and take the pussy way out to the detriment of relationships with people you claim to care about. But you did leave me in the hands of someone who does love me. Even if it still feels like you just gave me away.
I think most people want to feel truely cared about; respected. Relationships move forward with action and consistency. You can’t move while spinning your wheels or fairytales.
I never felt loved by you. And when I felt loved by someone else without the struggle, it reinforced my beliefs.
I don’t know why, but I wish you just would have said you never loved me. It pisses me off you never admitted it.