Who said I wanted you to save my life? And then, how dare you throw that in my face as if I actually owe you something! How dare you pull any of that crap on me that you did, and then get upset when I finally have enough. I thought you were someone different, and you were. But you’ve changed, and I just can’t deal with it any more. Believe me: you have yet to see me overreact to anything. I’m perfectly aware of where I am and to what volume my actions are speaking. And everything is in its proper proportions.
Do you have any idea where I put myself that night? Where I have put myself now and where I am at? I am barely standing these days, as if I’d actually admit that to you. Everyone else is blinded in one way or another, and that doesn’t exclude you. We’ve both fallen so far away from where we used to be: from where each of us wanted to be. I can see that as clearly as this screen right in front of my face in a darkened room. And neither of us have the motivation or the aspirations to get there. As much as I miss your friendship and company, we can no longer be of use to each other. That’s why I left without a word. If I tried explaining any of this, I wouldn’t be able to get half of my point across and you would just get defensive.
Go ahead: tell me i’m wrong. You’re allergic to change. It pisses you off, and perhaps rightly so. I’ve made my decision, and you appear to have moved on. So I’m not even going to bother trying to bring old wounds to the surface by contacting you to explain anything. Hence this LINS. And this letter you’ll never see. I don’t know what else to tell you. Yeah, I do miss you. And I need a friend these days in the worst way. But I can’t take back what i’ve done. I can’t go back to where I was. I’ve too many reasons against it, including one that I dare not mention, not even in an anonymous letter.
Just know that I keep you in my prayers and I sincerely wish the best for you.