It’s been two month since you passed. I miss you so much that I can barely stand it. I reach towards the stars and wonder if you can see me and hear me. I feel so lonely at times. Why did God have to take you from me so soon? Before you could see me through all of life’s obstacles and challenges, giving me advice along the way. There has been so many times lately that I wish I could pick up the phone and tell you what has been bothering me in my life. I felt like you were the only person I could tell at times, and now I have no one to talk to about what I am feeling.
I often think about the moments until your last breathe, and I wish i could get that memory out of my head. It seems so fresh and i know time will only heal this pain and these thoughts. I know you would never want me to remember you that way, looking at your gaunt, shattered body, ravaged away with cancer. I hated it. I hated that you had to go through the pain and the probing you endured for so long. I hated that I couldn’t take that pain away from you. But I hope you knew that I was there by your side every second and hope that you could feel my love as you passed in and out of consciousness.
Sometimes I sit here and think about what you are doing and try to realize that you are really gone. It is so hard to go back home now. The house feels empty. I see your things and think that you are coming back soon, but reality sinks in and I know I won’t see you in this life.
I know you are in a place that words cannot express the ultimate beauty and peace that is around you. It gives me strength to know you are there. It is just so hard for those who are left behind. But I know that one day I will join you.