• WHY?!

    by  • March 14, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Closure • 1 Comment

    Why did you start stalking your ex girlfriend when we were together? If you were not ready for another relationship, why make a move? Why trap me too? I hated you talking about her. Why did u jump around on April 3? Because it was her birthday?! You never once asked me to meet you so badly! Now I know why. you were soo desperate to go out that day, I dint know why, until later. Celebrating an ex’s birthday with me? Nope. Not happening!
    Why would you tell me to wear red pants or tell me to buy dark blue pants? Just because she wore them too? Was I just a replacement ? you think I dint notice, huh. I tolerated it.
    Why did u date me when you were bored at home after your studies? I’m not there to help you spend your time. I let it go.
    Why did u not introduce me to your friends? That was very rude! I tolerated it.
    Why would you ignore me while you were with your friends? I hated it! I never treated you that way ever. But I still let it go.
    Why would you walk away or ride away in the opposite direction of where I go?? ALWAYS! I tolerated it.
    What kind of man makes his lady pay for everything? Since the first day we dated! I understood. I tolerated it.
    Why would you keep on talking late into the night with other girls? That’s inappropriate! I tolerated it.
    Why did u register on a dirty talk site like omegle? Why would you want to talk to random girls online? You said you wanted to have a conversation. Have it with real people, not online cheap girls! It’s disgusting! I felt horrible! I tolerated it and let it go. I never once spoke to random guys even if I was bored at home. Coz my thoughts were happy us. All about us. I would never talk to anyone behind your back. But you did. And I was hurt. I tolerated it.
    Why do you act like you don’t know me when we are with your friends? You ignore me a lot. I tolerated it.
    Why did u serve me leftover cold food the first time I came to your house? I still ate it, without complaints! I tolerated it. Not because it was cold and you were a dumb boy, but because I thought we were in love and I let it pass.
    Why did u exchange the first ever gift I got you? I tried my best to make your birthday memorable. And you made me feel like shit. I was very hurt. You dint even want to talk to me in the car for a few minutes while I gave you the card and the present. I’m not sure you even remember I wrote you a letter.
    Why would you let me cry my eyes out and not console me when I’m feeling so down? All I wanted was to be with you. And you kept pushing me away. I tolerated it. I tried never to cry in front of you.
    Why would you not hold my hand later in our dating days? I would hold it, but you let me go. I tolerated it.
    Why did u whistle at other girls on the road and call them names like sexy or cute? WHY would you do that right in front of me? Why would you look at the girls in the mall and comment about their body and clothes? I was right next to you, feeling ashamed! That was very disrespectful! I wanted to slap you right there and go home. But I held my anger and let it go. I tolerated it.
    Why would you not want to spend time with me when you had time? We usually never get time to be with each other. At least when we have the chance to, you backed out and broke our plans. You never wanted to spend time with me. I tolerated it.
    Why would you keep showing me pictures of your ex girlfriend and her family members? Kept on pointing your finger at her pictures and you had her pictures even after you got into a relationship with me. Why did you do all this to me? You made me feel insecure about us. Your wandering eyes gave me insecurity. I let it pass. I tolerated it.
    Why would you not want to share anything with me? You said you wanted to share your life with me. But you stopped sharing. You stopped everything.
    Why did u not even come see me when I was really sick and at home for two days? Do you not care how I’m doing? I was there with you at the hospital when you were sick, beyond my outside roaming hours. I came to take care of you for two days when you got home. Do you not remember I dint even sleep?
    Why did u give me leftover salt flavored chocolate on valentines day last year? Because no one at home wanted it? A little flower would have done it for me. Even nothing would have been fine. But leftover stuff? I’m not going to tolerate it! You even gave me a bag of leftover chocolates because you said no one likes these ‘’dabba’’ chocolates at your place, so you got them for me. Horrible person you are! But I took it. Not saying a word! I tolerated it.
    Why would you never talk about taking me out anywhere? You never planned anything even after I asked you to. You never showed any interest in spending time with me. You never initiated anything for us to do together. It felt like you dint want any of this.
    Why did u have to tell all our secrets to your parents? All MY secrets! Somethings are just for your ears, but you let my words go to other people. How can I ever trust you again?! All my dreams, my thoughts, my inner world, was only for you. Not for others! Every time I told you anything over the phone, your parents would talk about the same thing to me over and over again!
    Why would you secretly talk to medha over facebook and then delete her messages? I caught you that day. But u denied having texted her at all. LIAR! If you are not doing anything wrong, why delete messages? You knew I have your password. You knew I would see.
    Why did u let me cry in front of everyone? Your father spoke non sense throughout! He accused me of so many things I dint do. You know better. Why did u not defend me? I felt horrible! You never opened your mouth. Not one word to tell anyone to stop. Not one word to console me. Where is the love? The affection? The protectiveness? The care? Was it all gone in 5 days?
    Not one day after this incident, and you already started talking to another girl. That’s it? That’s what you define love as? To you, it might have been just another relationship. But to me, it was love. It was more than anything in the world. You gave it all away like it dint even matter.
    Why were you not happy when I got a job? I gave you my offer letter and you dint even seem happy. No sign of happiness, joy, pride. Nothing!
    Why did u compare my salary with yours? Thinking this way was absolutely wrong. My salary was 4x yours. But I never made you feel bad or ever put you down. I never tried to pay for something and show that I have more money. I never did anything to hurt your ego. Why then, did u not appreciate it? I let it go too. I tolerated it.
    Why did u force me to tell my parents about us? You and your parents ruined the peace of my family. I told you to wait for another 2 years. Things would have been perfect. But its ruined now!
    Why did u get influenced by other people and without telling me anything about it, change our plans and dreams? You collapsed our dreams. Our hopes. Someone else’s dreams were not our dreams! Why live for others? We had our plans and goals and dreams and we could have worked towards it. You gave up on us right there. I gave up all our dreams too and let it go.
    You always used to tell me that your father always looks down on you and makes you feel bad about yourself like you are not good enough. I always tried to make you feel your self worth. I made you get back your self esteem. I gave you courage to stand up for yourself. I told you not to allow anyone to make you feel small. But all you people did was put me down and make me cry so much! Is this what I get in return for all the love and respect I gave all of you?
    Why did u tell me that you don’t want to go out with me? You were so rude, I was shocked for a couple of days and never asked you for your time again. Why did u commit to me at all, if you don’t want to spend time with me?
    Howcome you never gave me anything sweet or romantic? Men in love always do lovely things for their ladies. Dint I deserve anything at all? For everything I did to you, for you… you never even bought me a silly little flower. You never even presented me with a ring as a sign of commitment. Every girl deserves at least that. What did I ever do wrong to not get this special privilege?
    Why did u take me for granted? You dint plan any special occasion with me. You dint want to spend our first new year with me! What made you think that I would be there for another new year? If you dint treat me right, why then would I ever want to stay with you for so long for another opportunity to come? You took me for granted. You thought I would stay with you no matter how you behaved, but you were wrong! I gave you a chance. Doesn’t mean I’ll put up with anything you do.
    Why did you not want to celebrate our first year anniversary? I made you a card. I thought of us and made it myself. You never gave me anything. Nothing at all. Not even a flower. Not a chocolate. See now, we will never have another anniversary. You took us for granted. You let us go.
    You never wanted to take pictures of us together. No pictures with me. Were you so ashamed or embarrassed?! You never took any. I stopped trying. Any man would love to be seen with his lady. But not you. What love is this?!
    Why did u keep calling me fat? I knew I put on some weight. But it was none of your business. I wasn’t for your eyes. I was for the heart! You made me feel bad and I wouldn’t eat properly after that. I suffered. Not you!
    Why would you let your friends talk dirt about me and get away with it. Wouldn’t a man in love be enraged if anyone lifted their finger against his lady? You let him talk about me to you, all false, all dirt. And you dint shut him up. That’s called being possessive? Protective? Whatever?
    When you would go drinking with the boys, I dint mind it. But the next day, your attitude would be horrible! You’d be so cold towards me. Ignore me. Not talk to me properly. I don’t know what you people talk. But it sure had some effect on you. You would act rude!
    You said you would always protect me with your life, you would always take care of me. Promised not to let us go. Promised, no matter how hard times get, to stick together. Why did you lie? You never loved me. Things were good for 3 months. And then it all started going downhill. Maybe it was infatuation for you, but I really did love you!
    You told me you felt bad I dint invite you when I went to meet my friends. After then I always made it a point to invite you. But you never did. You never told me to come spend time with your friends. You hid me away.
    And right after a day we spoke, all of us, at your house about breaking things off… you started speaking to another girl? That’s the value for love? For our love? Us? Is that all you’ve got in you?
    How could you have asked me, even after you started earning? You asked me to pay for everything from now on. Knowing very well I have to support my family. I have a brother who is studying! I have to pay his tuition fee. My grandma… I pay her medical expenses. Only two people in our house earn. Don’t you even care? All you want is for me to pay for all you want to eat. Your family, everyone earns. You have no problems! But why wouldn’t you understand that its not the same for us? Did u know I pay for my brother’s tuition? Did u know I pay for ajji’s expenses? Did you know I filled diesel and petrol for all the vehicles so no one is stranded anywhere? You failed to understand me. 50-50 huh? That’s pathetic! No man who loves his woman will ask her to spend a dime! No matter how hard things are. I let it go. I tolerated it.
    Things came to the point where I had to literally beg you to spend time with me. How pathetic were we? Did u not understand that I need your time more than anyone else’s? This point in my life I did. We were about to be engaged! The most important phase in any girl’s life. And at this stage, you let me down. Gave up on us. You had the interest to attend some unknown grandmas funeral, but not spend time with me? We only had a few hours a week. Even that we dint spend together.
    Every time I came to your place, I only spoke and interacted with your parents. Not you. How is that spending quality time together? You and me? I could not even talk to you comfortably. There would always be someone. Your parents would talk non stop and not give me time to even hold a sentence or two with you. And you thought it was spending time together?
    You made me starve on new year’s eve! I was sooo hungry and you dint even order us any dinner. Everyone around us were eating and it was 1045 pm! I was starving. And I ran to the washroom coz I couldn’t tolerate it anymore. You wanted to only fill yourself with free starters. But I was starving! You dint even spend a penny that night for the new years party. You couldn’t even buy me dinner?! I was so angry you did that. I called purnima and cried and told her everything. And that’s when I came and shouted that I was hungry! Such a heartless asshole you were that night.
    I can think of a hundred more reasons and a few thousand ways you’ve hurt me. But this is more than enough.
    I’ve never cried so much in my life, as I did, these 18 months.
    All I ever showed you, was love and care and affection. You never reciprocated it! I’m so glad I got out of this before it was too late. I regret being in this relationship and not putting myself first. I thought love was putting other’s needs before your own. You proved me wrong. Life’s biggest lesson! Maybe this is why WE happened. To learn that love doesn’t exist and it is all bullshit! Thank you so much. I now can look forward to a better future. I know now, what love isn’t. This is an example. And so, you are my EX.

    One Response to WHY?!

    1. pallavi
      April 10, 2014 at 9:49 am

      Its really touching and a lesson for those type of people who take girlfriends epitome of granted

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