• Forever my sunshine

    by  • March 14, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    I guess its finally setting in, that feeling of being alone. I felt lonely before, just never really alone. Even when you were gone or we would fight i never felt as alone as i do here, surrounded by friends on this beautiful mountain. I guess i need to find some purpose for my life again. One that doesnt revolve around us. I wanted to be a lawyer but it changed. I really wanted to be a mother. Your wife. I guess i got so upset today because when i heard you song, it reminded me of that video and how thatll never be us. I really wanted all of that with you. I just didnt see this coming so soon. Im sorry for being so depressing. It wasnt my intention. But i guess i just feel like my whole world is changing. I was accepting of the fact that things change and you have to keep going. I just wasnt ready for this to change. No, not yet. Deep down now, it doesnt feel like we belong together. And thats what tears me apart. My cery foundation-the very reason for my whole life-is changing. I wanted to be with you so badly it overshadowed all of my other goals. All im getting at is that we both are hurt and trembling now. But youll see. We can do this. We can be without each other. We will be. Because we both deserve better. I guess i just dont know how to let go. Id really like to see you but its just not going to work out. So i hope you enjoy your week. I hope you trip helps to get me out of your mind. And i really and truly hope you find the love you so deserve. Im just sorry i couldnt be the one to give it to you. Even when i have kids, itll be you i think of as i sing them that song. Youll never know dear, how much i love you. But you need to be someone elses sunshine. Ive been turning your sun into grey clouds. And its not fair. So ill leave. Ill let you be happy and free without me. Just remember me with a smile please. The one with the dimple on your left cheek. That was always my favorite.

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