• How do you know when you’ve met “the one”

    by  • March 13, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 14 Comments

    How do men know? How do women know? I have only had that feeling once, but I was wrong. Now I’m with someone that I should feel like is “the one”, but I don’t know. I think I’m ready to move in, and then red flags. I don’t know if I’m just a commitmentphobe or if I need that crazy insane, you’re the one feeling.

    When you age, does your brain kick in when you age and those feelings never return? Is there something wrong with me wanting that feeling or am I crazy to wait for that feeling when I have a perfectly wonderful person in my life.

    14 Responses to How do you know when you’ve met “the one”

    1. there's more than "one"
      March 13, 2014 at 10:31 am

      It is just a “knowing”. My first love was not my “type” at all, yet I knew instantly that my world was never going to be the same. First time we accidentally touched it felt very heightened and I felt like I’d known them forever even though we had led very different lives. Typical “star crossed lovers”, etc. Lots of love but too much drama. Years of that.

      The person I am with now was not my “type” either but the first time I saw them I thought, “wow, why am I so attracted to this person?” Took a long time to get to know them and they are completely opposite of person #1. No stress and peace with this one. Ended up very lucky.

    2. tricia
      March 13, 2014 at 11:30 am

      for me.. you just know. something feels right. its hard to explain. if you question then i don’t feel its true. that’s just my opinion

    3. when you stop searching for more
      March 13, 2014 at 11:58 am

      People are different. I know many couples who stayed in relationships that do not seem to have a really exciting nature – from an outside perspective – but seemed to get better after a while. Not everyone enjoys crazy insane. I think you are a lucky person when you find someone who makes you feel good, whom you really miss, when they are not there, someone who gets you, makes you laugh, teases you, who has your spirit, someone with whom you can truly be yourself, someone who does not expect you to change or the other way around, someone you can relax with and don’t feel lonely, someone with whom you can forget time and space, someone with whom you can enjoy every simple moment, small things without feeling the need to be somewhere else, someone you can trust completely, someone whom you would tell your darkest secrets, someone you can steal horses with. You probably won’t recognize what you are missing, as long as you haven’t found it. It can take a while. It takes a lot of confidence to stay calm and be faithful, but I’m sure it’s worth it.

    4. Author
      March 13, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      @tricia, I agree. I just ended a relationship w a man I love…but I don’t love enough ;-/ I feel awful

    5. andrew
      March 13, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      I dont think that there is never any question or that people always know this with no doubt at all. I think so many people get it confused with infatuation and believe there partner is the one for them, that is until they find the next one,lol.this is someone you have a strange connection to and you may not understand why.it has nothing to do with never arguing, what they do for a living, or thinking about them 24 hours a day. But theres just something about them. When you together the time passes differently than normal.although you may have ups and downs, in general this person inspires you, they encourage you, your happiness means something to them, and you feel the same. This person becomes your rock. When you think deeply of them you cant help but hold back a smile. Many times the more you get to know them the more this becomes obvious. I believe this is why some many dont realize it when its there and end up walking away. Many times this person is somehow brought back to you when your first encounter had too many barriers.its freaky sometimes.

    6. sad
      March 13, 2014 at 6:26 pm

      I think you maybe questioning due to the “red flags”, i guess it depends on what those are

    7. @Author
      March 14, 2014 at 3:39 am

      Maybe it was not the right person for you. Don’t be too strict with yourself. I went through a similar situation and as it turns out, they didn’t love enough either. It’s nothing that you want to see, especially, when you do not hate each other, but it is honest. You will find your way, stay faithful and true to yourself.

    8. Paul
      March 14, 2014 at 5:58 am

      It’s not about “the one”…. get ride of that idea, you’ll be happier. Love is a choice, not something that consumes you. Once you choose to give a person real true love, then and only then will it consume you. Until you and your “the one” experience a hardship, will you know if you have made the choice. Hopefully they will have made the choice as well. If you are struggling with your current situation, it’s because you have not made the choice to give real true love, and that is fine. Giving some one real love is a hard choice, it’s scary, if/when you do though, you will find a rewarding feeling from continuing the choice. Eventually it will not be such a hard choice to make.

    9. Cumpfort
      March 14, 2014 at 2:03 pm

      I’m not so sure it isn’t a comfort level.

      I’ve read way too many ‘Rockets Fly Off To the Moon’ stories….

      I believe it’s acceptance and when you know you’re loved at your worst. Too short of an explanation, as in “Ain’t nobody got time for dat?”

      Lol….I think the right one would make a teasing remark in such a situation , which by ‘making more of’ takes off all the steam; the charge. The emotional whatever…’cause at your worst you aren’t exactly in a good emotional place, to clarify.

      I don’t think it’s the lust or butterflies.

      IMO, it’s like wearing your most comfortable jeans on an outing among the 1000 different colors in the trees, during peak season. Relaxed, just roll with whatever comes up. Antique shop? Let’s go.
      Oooo. Horse riding, one mile ahead. Wanna? It’s free of stress…and most importantly, CHAOS !!!

      “All is well….free & easy”

      All is well again
      I think I’m gonna be alright
      And I’m feeling better

      Loving you was sad
      Affairs of timing that were bad
      And the laughing ended

      There was a time
      When I thought I was fooling myself
      But now, I’ll take a bow
      ‘Cause I’m free and easy

    10. I
      March 14, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      When they make you feel safe and secure, comforted and wanted, needed and cared for,respected admired and loved.

    11. @ I ...good one
      March 15, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      Cum-phort here.

      Yes Yes Yes.

      Secure. Plus the rest of your list

      For years I have disagreed with the ‘insecure’ label as explained by people trying to sell sub-par books.
      Unless the insecure partner is somewhat nuts, i.e., a long list of past relationships where they did things like call you if you were 10 minutes late arriving home and other nonsense (that needs no further explanation) the concept is FOS.

      I believe that most of this stems from a partners actions. Something they keep doing that sets off a
      warning signal in your intuition or rational thinking mechanism.

      Yes, people do things that make someone who is ‘secure’…feel insecure in regards to your relationship.

      Emotional safety is at the top of the list.

      What a dream…a jackpot hit…a perfect combination it would be to have someone who you desire
      daily (and 2-3x a day on the weekend) and gives you the gift of emotional safety.

      I can only pray for such an outcome.
      Lol…maybe I should use the concepts presented in the book, ‘The Secret’ ???

      That stuff does work..

      May we —all— find such good fortune.

    12. Author
      March 15, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      @I he makes me feel all that. Today was the first day I missed him in almost a year because I felt smothered and broke up w him. He never let me miss him….

    13. S
      March 15, 2014 at 8:43 pm

      Commenting cuz relevance.

      You just have to have faith in what ever is going to be will be. Even if you feel most of those things Andrew & I wrote.

      It might not be love, but could be.

    14. I agree
      March 16, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      Well said I 🙂

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