• Fantasy vs Reality

    by  • March 13, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 7 Comments

    I’ve learned that if there is a fantasy component to a relationship, one or both people may not be emotionally available for a reality based relationship.

    It’s easy to point the finger, but unless people stand before one another, commit and follow through, it’s a moot point.

    I see some dramatic letters here, but do you realize what real commitment is? It’s getting along and not fighting over stupid shit. It’s not a power play. It’s working together in the daily grind of the hum drum.

    “Love” is so over romanticized. If you project that butterflies and rainbows and expectations on someone else, chances are you’re in for a rude awakening.

    7 Responses to Fantasy vs Reality

    1. sad
      March 13, 2014 at 6:04 pm

      Anyone reading…FYI, this is why you pick your partner wisely. Poster child of”how i dont want to end up in love”. Settle much? Have a great life with your gloom and doom. Boy that life would really suck!

    2. K
      March 13, 2014 at 9:49 pm

      this was extremely refreshing, thank you. i think we all need a reminder from time to time that sometimes the biggest thing standing between us and happiness is ourselves.

    3. absolutely
      March 14, 2014 at 4:17 am

      I agree. The sad thing is, that there are situations where you have to get over one difficult hurdle to make it real. Sometimes there is more than one difficult hurdle. Sometimes the hurdle is so big, so exhausting, that you will need help. In these situations it could help to work together, be honest with each other and find a way. Forget your ego, fight and you will get what you want. Easier said than done…;)

    4. Paul
      March 14, 2014 at 5:52 am

      Could not agree more, real love isn’t a feeling. It’s knowing. It’s about each party admitting their responsibility in their problems and both making sacrifices to make things work. It’s realizing that you can’t and should not rely on a partner for your happiness but have your own happiness that you want to share. Only happy individuals can be happy couples.

    5. Do you think...
      March 14, 2014 at 6:12 am

      That you need those initial butterfiles and rainbows in the beginning in order for the relationship to blossom? I know that those feelings never last and are just part of the process of “falling in love” and they fade. Real life kicks in, routines kick in. Do you think that w a love that slowly grows and that initial spark really wasn’t there, but a friendship was. Do you think that can last?

    6. author
      March 14, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      @sad..happily married, three years, together several more. LOL.

      @do…I believe in the initial spark. Always.

    7. @Do you think...
      March 14, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      From my own experience I would say. It can last long, but you will always miss something. Maybe you will never feel the wish to settle down with them. I don’t know, if that always has to be the case, but maybe the initial spark is not just a spark. Maybe the spark comes, because there is a reason. It might be a physical thing. It might be a mental thing. When you get older these things might lose their importance. In the end you are maybe happy with everyone who enjoys to be with you.

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