When you told me you needed space to clear your head, I accepted it. I knew that the situation we both put ourselves in was a shaky one at best, and maybe it was time to sit back, think, and try and find the best way to proceed. I wasn’t happy about it, but how could I be happy about not waking up to seeing “good morning” on my screen? How could I be happy about the long hours during the day filled with nothing but silence because to contact you now risked unravelling what little peace you found?
I get why you asked for silence, I do. Between a host of very hard choices, this was the safest one for you to choose. But.. I don’t get how easily you seem to have accepted it. When I wake up, my first thought is to wish you a good morning. When i think or see something amazing, my first thought is to share it with you. But, on the rare occasions we see each other now, it seems like you’ve simply moved on and that those conversations we had, which you used to say meant so much to you, don’t mean anything now.
You told me once that you wished we didn’t have an end period, but it seems like you’ve accepted that we have. I can’t. And it’s getting harder and harder to maintain this silence, if only to let you know that I’m not ok.
I miss You.