• Sad eyes

    by  • March 10, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Forgiveness • 26 Comments

    I didn’t think you were still on. I hadn’t posted in quite sometime. I don’t know if that’s truly u replying or not. All I know is when I saw that initial to your first name, my heart sank. I don’t know if it’s u or if I’m being messed with. I don’t know, trust anything. You replied on a post that wasn’t mine asking what I’m searching for, I’m come to the conclusion that my searches all come up the same with life just moving on and that naive woman I once was will never probably return. I guess my eyes are sad too.

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    26 Responses to Sad eyes

    1. g
      March 10, 2014 at 11:58 am

      Sad too?




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    2. Author
      March 11, 2014 at 4:54 am

      Not for reasons you may think. I don’t think you’d understand. Guess we both misunderstood each other. Sorry your eyes are sad tho, for whatever reason.




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    3. g
      March 11, 2014 at 6:27 pm

      R u saying I’m stupid? I don’t think ud understand either because u always thought we were more than we were




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    4. g
      March 11, 2014 at 9:45 pm

      Please tell me you remotely understand this person’s emotions.

      SMH




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    5. Author
      March 12, 2014 at 9:26 am

      Nowhere did I say or imply you were stupid. Exactly why I said I shouldn’t have replied because you like to throw indifference in my face…




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    6. g
      March 12, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      Why would it matter to u if I understand or don’t. Maybe u don’t know the whole story. It only matter to the author.




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    7. Author
      March 13, 2014 at 8:14 am

      G or G’s? Are there two “G’s” responding? I’m so confused. Anyway. I’d never call the G I knew stupid, he is actually of superior intelligence. Yes, I thought we were more than we were as he stated, that was what I believe to be a true statement. I would never call him stupid and thinking back, I believe he did the best he could given the situation that got out of hand. It wasn’t just his doing. All parties contributed. I take responsibility for my part and even tho it wasn’t what I thought it was, he is a decent man that got caught up in a sticky situation. It could happen to anyone.




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    8. g
      March 13, 2014 at 6:05 pm

      There were two G. Thanks for sticking up for me




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    9. g
      March 13, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      Curious what part do u think you didn’t do right. I know my faults just curious what you feel yours were




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    10. g
      March 13, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      My sad eyes were because u seem unahppy




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    11. J
      March 14, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      I am not happy. Did you read why my brown eyes are blue? I’m correcting it though. I’m no longer in that rut. I’ve ended it and am not settling, regardless of what an awesome man M is. Something inside of me is unsettled.
      There was so much I did wrong. So much. I am sorry for handling things without a level head. It was such an emotinal rollercoaster. I clung to you. I was clingy and needy. I thought I was fighting for you, but I was pushing you away. I wish I could do it all over again because what I felt for you was a feeling I don’t think I’ll ever feel again.
      I am sorry that I sent that very first email. I am sorry that I didn’t let you go sooner, not because I didn’t want you, but maybe had I done so, had I let things run its course…things might have been different.
      I am sorry that I made you feel like all my happiness was in your hands. I’m sorry that I turned into an emotional monster. You are a wonderful man. There was a reason why I was fighting for you. You made my heart smile. It would take hours of conversation for you to know what I feel I did wrong, because I know I did plenty. I don’t regret you at all though. I never will. I know you feel differently about me. I know you were more to me than I was to you..but I’ll never regret loving you. Never.




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    12. g
      March 14, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      I just read it. I don’t fully understand all that is going on with u. Sorry u aren’t happy. We all had faults. Why are u ending things with M? Your faults aren’t why we didn’t work. Life is weird.




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    13. g
      March 14, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      Just curious have u ever driven by my house?




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    14. @J
      March 15, 2014 at 1:08 am

      I can relate with all of what you are writing here. Something inside of me is unsettled too. There is something broke inside of me. I found it out recently as I impulsively, insensitively reached out for a man I love. Now my whole belief system is fucked up. Had several panic attacks.




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    15. J
      March 15, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      I’m trying to figure out what I want in a partner. No, I’ve never driven past your house. I just need to sort things inside of me out.




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    16. J
      March 15, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      @G, life is weird. I don’t have a clue where you live honestly. I looked it up one time, but I don’t remember, it was when you first moved. M and I are taking some time to ourselves right now. Maybe I’m going thru a midlife crisis, I don’t know. I feel unsettled. There is something inside of me that is just “stuck” for lack of a better word. It’s so frustrating. I guess I’m not the person I thought I was and the things I want are not what I thought I wanted…It’s weird and so frustrating.




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    17. g
      March 16, 2014 at 3:02 pm

      I don’t know what to say. You don’t want to know my thoughts. So all I can say is best of luck




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    18. I do want to know
      March 16, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Your thoughts…

      J




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    19. g
      March 17, 2014 at 7:29 am

      What are you missing in life?




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    20. g
      March 17, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      Are you prepared for the answer?




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    21. Wordplay
      March 17, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      loaded question and something I’ve been stumped on for quite some time. If I knew that…I’d know why I’m feeling so unsettled.




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    22. g
      March 17, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      U should stop over and hear them and explain yours. I get this vibe you want me back.




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    23. I can't
      March 18, 2014 at 4:27 am

      I can’t do that. We haven’t even spoken in almost a year. You’re settled in your life and while I appreciate your responses and generally am grateful for your replies. I can’t stop by…I don’t even know where “by” is and I wouldn’t feel secure about it…




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    24. g
      March 18, 2014 at 8:39 pm

      Is it me not in ur life making u unsettled? What do you want from me, don’t mean that as an ass. U have indirectly reached out to me on here & that 1 email. What is it ur searching 4?




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    25. Shrugging my shoulders
      March 19, 2014 at 8:56 pm

      I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would read this much less reply. Hell.. If I didn’t know how you use your words, I’d wonder if this was really you. Of all the letters…I’m sorry. This was indirect, this communication and while I enjoy the civility of it and am genuinely happy you replied, I know your position and all I want in this world is you to be happy, for me to respect that happiness and to not cause you any stress. I can’t answer what is missing, not honestly w a clear conscious. I guess it my hurdle to overcome and if I truly say what I feel…I’m being selfish. I’m glad you’re at peace and happy. I’m sorry I ever caused you grief. I loved you so much. I’m not use to not getting what my heart wants. I lead w my heart always. I guess I don’t do that anymore. I want you to be happy and you are…so I guess I got what I wanted, just not exactly the way I thought. Life is weird. Xoxo -j




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    26. g
      March 20, 2014 at 6:37 am

      Why can’t u answer it? Maybe saying everything will help you.
      Maybe ur heart did get what it wanted. What I did was wrong and why I did it I can’t fully answer. I know why on some level. But I gave my heart away a long time ago to K. It wouldn’t be fair 2 u if I could never give u all of me.




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