That song put me in the right frame of mind as it woke me up this morning. I’m thankful we are no longer speaking. It doesn’t take but a recollection of your words to fill my complete being with anger.
I would love to be filled with indifference instead and I’m hopeful that will all come in time.
I understand that this anger is directed partially at myself. But I’m going to start forgiving myself for seeing the best in you regardless of your actions towards me.
I think people would get over problems easier and faster if the other person involved validated their feelings and practiced empathy. It doesn’t mean you have to agree. It just shows you actually care about them and how they feel. You shouldn’t expect someone to be able to forgive you right away and then act impatient or annoyed when they can’t. It causes so much resentment.
When you apologized last year you knew what you did and yet got annoyed when I didn’t get over it fast enough. You summed it up by just saying something like, “I have acknowledged your feelings already many times.” Like it was a fucking job. The “many times” was in a fucking couple of e-mails.
You apologized for you and your needs. It’s blatantly obvious. You just didn’t like feeling like the bad guy.
You are the most selfish person I have ever known. And I know now the only way I’m going to get better is to not let you near me again.
Selfishly, it would make me feel better if you actually felt the loss of me to the depths I have felt. But you don’t. You minimized my feelings so much that nothing you could ever say or do would change my mind that you ever really gave a shit.
So in the end I realize nothing about this really matters anymore. “I’m Already Gone”.