I call myself this.
I want to believe in a God out there. But it’s too hard. How can I when there is so much proof against it?
I see people out there thriving on atheism, doing their best to let everyone know that all there is are atoms and star dusts, all we’re only made of.
For me, ever since realizing, it’s been a living hell.
Not a day goes by without laying my head at night to rest, and crying to myself about how meaningless life is, how everyone I know will never be seen again.
They say enjoy your time now with your loved ones.
I can’t even look at them without thinking how it ends.
Knowledge is terrible. It can only be taken in mediums, not whole. Dig too much and the dune will cave in on you. Like it did to me.
I call myself Agnostic. Because I want to believe. But I can’t.