• Used To

    by  • March 5, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 3 Comments

    They say love is a choice. Not so sure I agree. If it were, and for all the effort I’ve gone through to get over you, you should not be in my head.

    I was walking to my front door and had a mini breakdown. The words “Used to” kept running through my head over and over like a mantra I’m willing myself to accept, to learn, to beat into my own head.

    You used to be here. You used to be in love with me. You used to be my best friend. You used to try. You used to listen. You used to want me. You used to be able to talk to me. You used to.

    Even you saying we were in this thing together not so long ago can’t make me believe it was true.

    It was never just a thing, a friendship, a situation. We used to be a couple in love dammit. We used to.

    It’s gone. It’s over. It’s done.

    I hate that it was you. I hate that you could get to me like nobody else. I hate that I actually feel things with you I can’t get with anybody else.

    God knows I’ve tried. Every day I try. I push and I run and do everything I know how to get better and be healthy. I keep busy with positive things. I make plans. I try to improve myself. I try I try I try. For seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months and years.

    Why won’t you go away if all I’m left with is “used to’s”?

    3 Responses to Used To

    1. Another
      March 5, 2014 at 11:20 am

      Well if you are thinking about them that much then obviously there is something there. Is there a reason you cannot speak to your person?

    2. Stop thinking
      March 5, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      Then go out, tell them in reality and not this fantasy world here, make it real.

    3. author
      March 5, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Does anyone actually read the content of these letters?….

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