• Good riddance

    by  • March 3, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    Sometimes I hate you, but I don’t want to.
    I think of you daily, but I don’t want to. I no longer have any desire to be with you in any sense. I don’t want any type of relationship with you at all. I’m grateful every day for our break up, but that doesn’t help me get over the anger I feel about our relationship and all the time I wasted believing that you actually cared about me (because you said you did…and “shouldn’t that be enough?”).
    I can’t really look back on our relationship fondly, as much as I realize that we did have some good times. All of the “fun” has really been ruined for me now that I realize how temporary I was to you the entire time we were together. I was disposable to you. Looking back I realize that my “insecurities” were completely valid concerns, but you told me that I wasn’t trusting you enough.
    I don’t think you know how to really love someone. Unfortunately, you also don’t know how to be alone, even though that’s the thing you said you needed. You certainly don’t know how to open up or communicate. That does make me pity you a little bit. It’s sad that you’re afraid to be honest and emotional with people who should be important to you, and that your ambitions will always be more important to you than your relationships in life with people who love you.
    Thank you, though, because this has been a learning experience for me. I learned a lot looking back on two and a half years of our terrible relationship, which I naively thought was normal or even good. I didn’t know any better and now I do. I know what kind of guy I want and need now, and he looks nothing like you.
    And what have you learned?

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