• It’s Sad, Really

    by  • March 1, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 5 Comments

    What you are doing is for you. It’s not about me, nor was it ever.

    You pretend that walking away was my idea. You pretend it’s all for me. You pretend I’d be better off.

    It’s just pretend.

    It’s just more convenient,
    Less stressful,
    Less mental space,
    Less guilt,
    One less thing to deal with.

    It was always about you. Not me.

    Even then.

    History repeats when not learned. You never learn. Nor do you want to. That’s what’s real.

    You. don’t. want. to.

    I hope you feel this. I hope you know this. In moments of clarity and silence.

    But that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

    Because it was never about me.

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    5 Responses to It’s Sad, Really

    1. It sounds
      March 2, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      as though you are in a similar scenario to that of what I’m in. Silence isn’t good and can be quite confusing. The best way to resolve things is by communication in reality.




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    2. author
      March 3, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      Similar huh? What side of the fence? Like me on this side? I don’t think I have it in me to talk anymore. Did way too much of that already. Good luck in your situation though.




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    3. Communication
      March 9, 2014 at 11:58 am

      This is terribly sad author. If you still care about this person you owe it to yourself and them to speak with them about how you’re feeling. If you never give them the opportunity to really discuss what has happened over the last year you cannot expect them to just know what is going on in your mind. I am in a similar situation, from the sounds of it on the other side. I was not being selfish, however it may appear from the outside and everything I did was for us not just me, regardless of how it appears from the outside. He will never know this if he never reaches out and asks to discuss it. He hides his feelings from me and puts on this facade of not caring and not interested. He is hurting both of us because he wont allow for the healing to begin. How does it begin? By talking about the painful things with each other. Food for thought.




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    4. author
      March 9, 2014 at 10:58 pm

      @communication- well my person (He) is not like your scenerio.




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    5. rational
      March 10, 2014 at 8:59 am

      @Communication

      I have a situation as you describe. I can’t tell you all the details as sometimes I’m not even sure of how things are anymore. There is this person I felt a connection with in the past. It was like this giant elephant in the room, largely unacknowledged by anyone else. It was not pursued then. The reasons why are another discussion entirely. But fast forward to the present, I realize that there may still be a chance with this person, that there may still be feelings between us. I mean, I know for sure that there are on my end. With this in mind, I have tried to reach out, contact them, break the ice, or whatever, multiple times, in real life (of course!). They have completely ignored me. I would take this as a sign of no interest but there are contraindications that I cannot ignore as of yet. I know it doesn’t make sense. I take into consideration that I may have misjudged one of the many variables in this tricky situation. However, I can’t let it go. Would you have any idea in relation to your situation how this could make sense – in the context of both parties having feelings yet one of them ignoring the advances of the other? One of the other possibilities is, of course, that this is all in my imagination and they are flat out not interested. But for the sake of discussion, let’s not consider that for the moment.

      By the way, did you comment on the right letter? I find some references on your comment that are absent from the author’s post.




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