Tell him to quit staring me down like he is a fucking Saint. I have every right to be there and I really don’t give a shit if he is that intimidated by me, but it really comes across as pathetic. I mean, wth? I do as I please and if he enjoys the view so be it. But I’m not running and I’m sure as he’ll not flaunting so it comes across as a tad creepy. It serves no purpose.
In the meantime.. The moratorium, the space, the interlude, the sabbatical, whatever you want to call it, has given me strength and complacency. I realize or remember actually, that I like myself. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am human. I feel. I think. And I express myself and communicate effectively, and that is awesome. I am happy, with or without you. My memories are mine and I will always treasure them. You can go, but I get to keep them.
I’m done reaching out. And I may be able to muster a smile, but that remains to be seen. My feelings are so insanely mixed. I have to protect myself at this point. I can’t let you close to me for now. Not when you don’t even try in the slightest.
So it appears that we or I have come to a fork in the road. I am choosing the path best for me. Your path is most likely a different one, so I am letting you go. It hurt so much worse the last time this happened. This time, I’m going to blame it on the numbness that I have been dealing with for quite awhile now. I really have become comfortably numb.
It almost feels good..