• frustrated

    by  • December 12, 2013 • To You • 1 Comment

    you’re not even here anymore.. I can tell.
    I wish highly that there could have been another ending to this story.
    I should know however, that if I am involved, it always ends this same way. I thought, you were something special, but it turns out, that you were just playing with me. Just like the ones before. I miss how I was able to just be myself around you, I miss having that part of me out in the world. Now, I have gone back into my shell and I don’t know what to do. It was like you dangled a carrot in front of my face to lure me out, then you simply disappear, and I’m left alone in a world that I don’t know much of anything about. So, I naturally returned to my place of comfort, deep within myself. My stars, which I thought were aligning, are now so far off course that I don’t even know which direction I’m supposed to be heading in. My job, is insecure, cut backs, no clients, I can’t stand it anymore…etc.. I feel that everything is just coming to head, that I will either snap and lose my mind completely, or, perhaps I will find the right path while swimming aimlessly through all of this mess. I just wish that life could have been a lot more sweeter and much less bitter.. I will find someone who wants to love me, to be with me, fully. Not just on the side, or in the background. I refuse to allow myself to be that person anymore, I deserve a whole person. I hate you (even if hate is a strong word) for making me feel something for you, when I didn’t want to, when I had no intentions… and then..just fucking off.. pretending like I never existed in the first place.

    One Response to frustrated

    1. ?
      December 12, 2013 at 7:30 pm

      Life is what you make of it. Make a plan.

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