• Nothing is True

    by  • December 8, 2013 • Thoughts • 12 Comments

    Nothing is true;
    Everything is only a fabrication of what you want to see.
    We grow up with these fancy ideals, taught that the world is spinning that that beauty exists. And somehow we have to pursue that beauty in an honest and humble fashion. Be kind to each other. Be pure. Make others happy. Be honest and sincere and trustworthy.

    But when the fucking sky begins to fall, we look up and call it a meteor shower — something beautiful to gawk at because we are too damn ignorant to realize the end of our pathetic little lives is imminent. When we open ourselves up to an honorable and worthy life, all we do is expose ourselves to radiation that eats us up from the inside, writhing on the floor unable to breathe because of the pretty little life we never thought would turn on us weasel’s it’s way into our weakness and incapacitates us. Take away the sliver of meaning we clung to tightly to and strip us of everything we ever dreamed to be.

    Even now I’m watching my walls collapse beneath the onslaught of a storm that I was told would never intercept me. EVERY. FUCKING. THING is being ripped from my grasp, including the people that were supposed to be there for me. Set an example. Be strong and show me that it is possible to withstand the most devastating attacks. To rise up from the ashes and start anew, because there is always somebody out there stronger than you to catch you when you fall and show you which way you need to go.

    But all I find is betrayal and those who are just as weak as me, in as much need of my support as I am of theirs, and in the long run this mutual assistance will only wear us down so that the wolves will no longer have to work for their food. They can just meander right up and dive in without a struggle.

    I just can’t fucking do this any more. I’ve got nowhere to go. No one to turn to. Nobody to trust because the ones I held in the highest regard — whom I let the closest to my heart and gave my all to — dropped a grenade in the chest cavity and ran away never to be heard from again. And those who are considerate enough to remain to try to put the pieces back together are plagued so much by their own personal problems, that neither of us can properly assist the other. I’ve grown so tired… become so weary of appearing strong because everyone else has enough burdens as it is and really there is no one I can turn to. No one strong enough to get me back on my feet and kick me into gear.

    In the end, nothing is ever as it seems, and anything that even appears somewhat enticing is only a ruse, bent on taking away everything we hold dear.

    12 Responses to Nothing is True

    1. britney-the strong one
      December 8, 2013 at 4:51 pm

      OkOk we get it…shit happens shit sucks.

      We all have our own issues. Your not the only one who has ever lost their only love lost their closest friend lost security and down in the dumps about it. Those were only examples.

      Nothing is as it seems most certainly depending on how YOU percieve it. You need to force yourself to find the positive. Its gonna seem impossible to do. Its not.

      Happiness has to start from within first. Being angry for your hardships will not advance you very far for very long.

      There are plenty of people that will offer an ear. It is your job to eliminate the ones that are listening only for their own benefit and not yours.

      Yes you are correct. We typically are raised being taught trust is good and usually those closest to us are family so we start to believe thats normal. When we grow up we encounter people that we still believe we can trust. After all its what we know.

      A few times of being mistreated slaps us. A few times of being disrespected slaps us. A few times of betrayal……

      It hurts yes. But you cant change who you are and how you behave based on a few encounters that were bad. What you can do is take that knowledge so that you better prepare yourself in hopes it wont happen again because you dont allow it to happen again.

      You can only change yourself. By that i mean…wisen up. Get smart and then you remove the ability to be affected. Theres always gonna be some fool to try and put a black cloud in your sunny day. I believe in you. Now you just need to believe in you.

      Sincerely
      A girl thats been messed with way too much and learned how to rise above it.

    2. nate-the weak one
      December 8, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      To “the strong one” —
      Honestly there is no comment I hate more than “You aren’t the only one who…”. All it does is downplay my own situation.

      You see, it is ALL about perspective that dictates the way we feel or react to certain circumstances. There is no objective standard by which to judge what situations are or are not worthy of frustration or depression or whatever.

      A simple example: a 15 year old girl suffering her first heartbreak. Do you berate the girl for her outburst of tears and depression that follow because “she’s not the only one to go through it” or other people have it worse? Or is it just her lack of experience of things truly egregious that justifies the way she feels and reacts? Certainly someone who has dealt with multiple bad breakups or suffered more than one broken heart may consider such a reaction silly and unnecessary. But is it proper to tell her to just get over it and “get smart” because it happens to everyone? Or do you comfort her, let her cry, and gently ease her back into reality? Come on now.

      So forgive me for such an explicit reaction when my entire world is turned on it’s head for the first real time in my 23 years of living and I don’t know how to handle it. Congratulations on being strong and making it through your own battles, but don’t just assume you know what I’m going through or what resources I have at my disposal without being presented any of the facts. We’ve had different experiences, different heartaches, and a far different perspective on life. Yes, I am very well aware of life’s tendency to get better in the long run, but it doesn’t mask the pulsing emotions tearing through my veins just begging to be let out.

    3. britney-the strong one
      December 9, 2013 at 2:33 am

      Nate….after only reading one sentence….my response is

      wait for it…

      Thats your problem. You have too much hate within. Call it a downplay all you want. What would you really like somebody to be like…dang man thats the worst in the world.

      Its not a freaking contest to see who has the most shit wrong. Jeez. But like i said…the first line is an instant shutdown. You dont bite the hand that feeds you. You dont scream at the doctors that care for you. Anger gets you nowhere and once you attack all the people that freely want to help well good luck finding help.

      And for your anger…i refuse to read the rest of your response.

      Sincerely
      Girl without eyes and ears

    4. britney-the strong one
      December 9, 2013 at 3:14 am

      …And next time you want to get sad about life and feel urge to argue a stranger trying to lift you not lower you…..well you might wanna pick up a pen and some paper. Because here you will get responses. Not all you will like or use. One things certain. You will get tired of arguing strangers.

      Ps…although you dont want to downplay the effect they have from their problems…you do however have to allow them to know that unfortunate things happen and also it is manageable. Some patients start at the top and only see themselves there with all their baggage. You have to reveal other people are there as well that can offer to help carry their load. Otherwise you might have one throw their baggage and jump because they see its too much for them alone to handle. Its called giving hope to the hopeless.

    5. MaBella
      December 9, 2013 at 4:03 pm

      Unless you are 15 years old Britney is right… cut the self demeaning pity and do what you have to do to move on!

    6. nate
      December 9, 2013 at 6:59 pm

      brittany-
      then i’ve nothing left to say to you, considering your lack of sensitivity and inability to reason

      MaBella-
      what does the age matter? you’ve missed the point completely.

    7. All is not lost
      December 9, 2013 at 9:00 pm

      My friend.

    8. @author & @brittany
      December 9, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      Author,
      I beliee tyou are correct. The concept you present is ‘deep’ indeed. I thought about it for some time as it really was an eye opener. Wanted it to sink in…
      Right, we’re raised with all this do good mentality and I must admit, it’s been a dominant part of my life,
      But then you go back to all the scholars who have a different opinion on religion and the answer that prevails is “It was used to control the masses.”
      It’s such a huge topic, so one can hardly give it the long explanation. Short version, there are good concepts in the Book of Life and there are some very screwed up teachings.

      You’re right. The world seems to hae shifted and while it’s essential so see the world as a ‘safe place’ I think the thing that stands out for me is that you MUST be in a position to defend yourself properly.
      Always be in the power position, don’t outrun your supply line and make sure there are reinforcements if you get in a situation over your head.

      This being a good person I don’t think really does much, unless you are in such a high position of influence in life, that thousands recognize it and then it probably has a payoff.
      It was one of the best posts I’ve read on here.

      @Ms. brittany,
      You seem like one of the logical ones here (at times, because I haven’t read all your posts.

      So let me axe you….you have this persona of ‘having it all together’

      And very possibly, you do.

      So what are you doing here?

    9. @author & @brittany
      December 9, 2013 at 10:21 pm

      Author,
      I believe you are correct. The concept you present is ‘deep’ indeed. I thought about it for some time as it really was an eye opener. Wanted it to sink in…
      Right, we’re raised with all this do good mentality and I must admit, it’s been a dominant part of my life,
      But then you go back to all the scholars who have a different opinion on religion and the answer that prevails is “It was used to control the masses.”
      It’s such a huge topic, so one can hardly give it the long explanation. Short version, there are good concepts in the Book of Life and there are some very screwed up teachings.

      You’re right. The world seems to hae shifted and while it’s essential so see the world as a ‘safe place’ I think the thing that stands out for me is that you MUST be in a position to defend yourself properly.
      Always be in the power position, don’t outrun your supply line and make sure there are reinforcements if you get in a situation over your head.

      This being a good person I don’t think really does much, unless you are in such a high position of influence in life, that thousands recognize it and then it probably has a payoff.
      It was one of the best posts I’ve read on here.

      @Ms. brittany,
      You seem like one of the logical ones here (at times, because I haven’t read all your posts.

      So let me axe you….you have this persona of ‘having it all together’

      And very possibly, you do.

      So what are you doing here?

    10. balance
      December 10, 2013 at 10:12 am

      @Nate-balance is the key. No one can tell another how to “be happy or get over it”, nor is it healthy to wallow in sorrow forever. Here’s to finding your happy medium and smooth sailing.

      @Britney-while some people like myself speak without a filter at times, tact is often appreciated by those who deal in other ways. Perspective can also mean your words can be construed as bitchy, overbearing, and controlling.

    11. nate j
      December 11, 2013 at 7:42 am

      To @author and @brittany —
      I appreciate your sensible post. I don’t necessarily agree with the “good person” or “religion” views you expressed, but as you mentioned they are such broad topics that we’d spend half a lifetime explaining and debating them, and I’ve neither the energy nor the time for either. 😉 Not that it’s of any relevance. But I see where you’re coming from.

      Some people need to realize that an explosive post on LINS is not indicative of a constant showing of those emotions. It is merely a release of pent-up emotions that has the ability to lift a weight off of the shoulders of the one doing the expressing and allows them to continue with their lives feeling a little lighter. I understand that criticism is a part of an open forum such as this, but the critics need to realize that their criticism is also open to criticism from the author and others, and a critic is generally far less welcoming of criticism than an OP. Just sayin’.

      To balance —
      Thanks for the kind words. I’ve had no intentions of “wallowing in sorrow forever”. I have a job and I have other relationships I intend on keeping intact. Just every once in a while I’ll blow up and I prefer to do so on here than allow it to negatively affect the other aspects of my life.

      No, I do not truly believe everything I originally wrote. Nothing is ever as bad as a filterless rant may indicate, especially coming from me. It has particularly been a most difficult month in general but I’ve already started seeing the reasons why it is all happening. It will allow me to move forward and build upon myself, brick by brick. I’m aware of this, as well as many other things as well.

    12. Britney
      January 19, 2015 at 4:47 pm

      To whoever asked why i am here…..

      To give back what was graciously given to me and hopefully making a difference. But my reasons have been explained in other letters responses.

      Just randomly saw this again and thought id reply. Better late than never.

      To the author.
      I really hope things have improved for you since then. I understand that people tend to lash out when hurt. We all have things to improve. Best wishes to you.

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