• One bourbon One Scoth One beer

    by  • October 30, 2013 • Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    10/29/13

    Mariah K.:

    I have been drunk going on nearly 20 hours now. All
    I wanted was your love, your affection. I wanted you
    to treat me the way you treat Seth. I wanted you to
    walk up to me and be all lovey dovey with me, walk
    all the way across the entire fucking plant just to
    talk to me like you used to, like you do now for
    him. I believe now that I am more romantic then you.
    See guys fight marriage, all the way through life.
    And when they finally want to get married it’s
    because that man thinks he can’t last one day
    without that woman ever again. They marry the girl
    they truly love and need, the girl they can’t live
    without. Girls…girls just look for security. Does
    the man have a steady job, a well paying job, does
    he have a lot of money. They don’t look for Prince
    Charming, they don’t care about that. Women just
    marry the man who may decent looking, nice but not
    necessarily romantic or treat you the way you should
    be. I love you. Your my soulmate. We may have not
    been married, but in my mind we were. I made a
    promise within myself to love you for better or
    worse. And I did, I loved you through all that
    bullshit, even at your worst I loved you and I just
    wanted you to love me when I was my worst. There was
    never a day I simply wanted sex. I wanted to MAKE
    LOVE. to kiss your body, heart, love your soul and
    core, to be connected to one another but you just
    quit all together with making love with me. I still
    to this day believe your soulmate but I don’t think
    we will ever be anything together anymore. I don’t
    believe I’ll ever be your friend or talk to you. But
    I’ll still always be in love with you and love you
    more than anyone else in this world. You see…the
    reason we will never be anything ever again is
    because you said you were glad our baby miscarried,
    that you didn’t wan’t anythin to do with me, that it
    wasn’t a baby to you. Just a miscarriage and you
    were glad. You know even that was forgiving…every
    word of that was forgiving until I asked if you
    seriously meant it a few days later and you said
    yes. I love you more than words can express…more
    than anything in this world. My heart and soul still
    scream for you, even as your repeatedly stabbing my
    chest, killing me over and over. I’m not sure if
    you’re deliberately a bitch, or just trying to get
    over the years we were together, the things we
    planned, and promised to one another, by already
    being with someone else, by not giving a fuck about
    me, by fucking me over on nearly everything since we
    lived together. Mariah. I’m not sure why or how I
    still love you, even though you’ve ripped my heart
    out, threw it as far as you could and when it didn’t
    shatter, you ran after it and stomped on it. But I
    still do. I still fucking love you. I’m so hurt,
    especially after the comment about glad the baby
    died. I was so drunk today after leaving work, I
    binge drank 2 bourbon, 2 scotchs, and four beers, on
    a empty stomach. I don’t eat because I’m so
    heartbroken. I left the bar and passed out across
    the street, ended up waking up two hours later by a
    semi trucker who saw me. I played it off I was okay,
    puked and took a walk, walked through the park and
    passed out for another three hours, in this cold ass
    ohio morning weather. I love you, and you’re my
    soulmate but I just don’t think I will ever speak to
    you again, you were so cold and heartless. Threw
    this relationship away over a small fight, so easily
    gave it all up and now you magically don’t care about
    that baby we lost….and that. THAT statement is
    when I realized I can’t and won’t forgive you, I
    will never take you back after that. You were my
    best friend for so many years, and my girlfriend
    twice, this second time was the most amazing two
    years of my life, I loved that we lived together
    nearly the entire two years, loved how amazing we
    were, until the weeks that followed our breakup. So,
    So long, this is goodbye, may we have our true
    soulmate relationship, and family in a different
    life.

    Your Soulmate.
    Your Papa Bear.
    Your Chikorita.
    – James

    P.S.

    The alcohol I drank, was because a co worker said One bourbon by George Thorogood is slowly what my life is turning into. Drinking so much because you broke my heart…my soulmate…broke my heart.

    I revised that cute ass song you used to sing to me.

    The revised words are in caps.

    “I HAD a papa bear, and he WAS cute cute cute.
    I HAD a papa bear, and he WAS cute cute cute.
    I HAD a papa bear, and he WAS cute cute cute.
    Oh how I LOVED him so much.”

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