• I still love you but I don’t think I know you anymore

    by  • September 29, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 3 Comments

    Hey You… So I have loved you since I was barely a teenager. Now you’re in college and we barely have any contact. I could have changed that by agreeing to be your girlfriend at some point but I couldn’t. I was positive that we would be together forever and I was afraid to start that so young… for fear that I would mess things up or we would outgrow each other or that you would never know if you chose me because you really wanted me above everyone else, or if you chose me because you didn’t know anything else. I wanted you to be able to grow and decide for yourself but in doing that I probably ruined my chance with you for a forever. You are in college and I am still a senior in high school. You have everything anyone could ever want and someone who’s there now is going to decide they want you, and you will probably go ahead and be with them. I’m pretty sure you believe I have no interest in you… but that isn’t true at all. I love you. I have always loved you, but fear has kept me from admitting it directly to you and I know it has hurt you. You have tried to be more than friends with me a few times because you could probably feel what I felt for you but I denied it, time and time again. Things have happened that were out of both of our control… other people have done cruel things to try to get in between us… and we both fell victim. I’m just rambling. You’re never going to see this anyway, I just wanted to tell you… that I love you and I always have and when I get to college, if by some weird twist of fate, you aren’t with anyone else… maybe then, if I haven’t destroyed you already…we can finally have our chance at forever… I love you.

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    3 Responses to I still love you but I don’t think I know you anymore

    1. No
      September 29, 2013 at 4:43 pm

      … Just no. Leave him alone.


    2. author
      September 30, 2013 at 4:58 am

      @no- *her* which was part of the problem back then and I will leave her alone only if that’s what she wants.


    3. Marirose
      September 30, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      TELL HER.
      you must. darling, my god, you must tell her.
      tell her now.
      These things, they can’t wait.
      Pick up the phone.



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