• Things Really Suck.

    by  • September 26, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Regret • 1 Comment

    Dear Beautiful Girl I Never Should Have Let Go,

    So we’re friends. I gave you space and now we’re polite to each other, but nothing feels the same. We used to laugh and talk and touch for hours on end, but now it’s a courteous conversation and then goodbye until next time I have to see you.

    I can’t tell you how much it sucks to have a relationship with someone where things are so open, so honest and so nice, and then to go to a relationship that is nothing at all. It makes me sick. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about us. I’m constantly on fire with all the things I should have said and I don’t have a way to take it back.

    If things were different maybe I’d try and get you back, and maybe I will someday. But for now I just have to watch and wait until everything I did blows over. Until all my stupid mistakes are forgotten.

    What scares me the most is that you might never forget them.

    Love,
    The Stupid Girl Who Let You Go

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    One Response to Things Really Suck.

    1. B
      September 27, 2013 at 3:40 am

      Dear Author,
      Although his fits my situation incredibly well, I know the odds of this being written by my person are slim to none. Not that I won’t hope for odds in my favor of course, but that’s not what is compelling me to respond. As someone in a similar mess I just wanted to offer a little advice in hopes of maybe helping someone avoid lingering in such a crappy situation longer than they have to.

      So my advice is simple…you should send her this letter!

      This could easily be one of the times where you both are holding back because that’s what you think that the other person wants unaware that holding back is the last thing either wants to be doing. Sending her this letter would let her know exactly where you stand and will erase any uncertainty on her end and if she is holding back because she is still hurting, it lets her know that you are there and ready to try again when/if she is. It would be a shame to find out years from now that you both missed out on a wonderful future because of something as simple as a misunderstanding over what the other person wants now.

      I believe in my situation that both she and I are on the same page and both want to fix what’s broken but are afraid that the other person doesn’t feel the same way. It’s so easy for intentions to get misread which cause hesitation and unnecessary delays in mending things. The longer the delay, the harder it is to reach out and make amends. Especially if both people are operating under the impression that the other person isn’t interested in fixing the situation. You may be thinking she wants space and she may be thinking it is you wanting space leaving both of you stuck waiting on the other when in fact neither of you want this space and are both eager to reach out to the other. She may have long since forgiven all that happened but remains at a distance afraid that you aren’t interested in trying again, afraid that you’ll feel like she’s trying to push herself back into your life where she isn’t welcome anymore. But most of all, afraid that she’s reading things wrong and any attempts to reach out would result in pushing you (and any hopes of ever getting back to where you two were) away forever, something which she can’t even bear the thought of having happen. So she has chosen the lesser of two evils and is forcing herself to play to take it slow, unaware that you are doing the same. And unfortunately because of this she is waiting for you to let her know she welcome and wanted back in your life, which based on your letter sounds as if maybe you are as well. At that rate, you’re both waiting on the other person and as a result are at a standstill.

      I am trying to overcome my fears and reach out to the person in my situation and it’s taking a while to build that courage, and the time wasted only makes it harder to overcome the fear, which leaves me stuck in an endless loop that just suck. I don’t want space, I want her back in my life. If I knew she wanted me back in hers I’d be there in a heartbeat! But fear is a powerful thing that keeps getting in the way every time I see her now.

      BTW, I see my person every Monday night…so if the odds turned out to be in my favor and by some weird and crazy twist of fate that this was written by a person whose name begins with a K to a girl whose name begins with a B, I’m ready if you are.

      And if not, then good luck to you author and I hope you are able to mend things with her so things no longer suck! Take care!

      -B.




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