• Death of a Friendship?

    by  • September 25, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 11 Comments

    All I have to give you is the truth. It now belongs to you to believe or not. True friends seek ways to believe the truth that comes from a friends mouth, not to dismiss or disprove it as impossible. I have done my part. It is now in God’s hands… and yours.

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    11 Responses to Death of a Friendship?

    1. Sad
      September 25, 2013 at 12:27 pm

      Yuck. As sad as it is to lose a friend, it’s sadder to think someone is a friend who isn’t. You’re right author, if someone isn’t looking for ways to believe you’re right because they’re too busy saying you’re wrong (or lying) they aren’t a friend. Spend your time and energy on people who have your back and be happy about memories you made when you were legitimately friends with that person because everyone deserves friends who got your back. (and that person obviously doesn’t deserve the honor of the title ‘friend’)Toodles!


    2. @Sad
      September 25, 2013 at 1:23 pm

      You are so spot on! Actions & what has been said in the past sometimes gets people unstuck for they haven’t said the entire truth. White lies even. I wrote a letter today & WHEN you wish & want to believe them yet they keep being caught saying or doing another then…. YES you are right they are nothing not a friend or anything but misery. Gut feelings are what many of us should always go with, I’m never questioning mine again even when blindly in love!


    3. Author
      September 26, 2013 at 10:33 am

      @@sad sometimes the gutt is wrong though. I’ve delivered a truth that is somewhat unfathomable yet 100% true. I had nothing to gain and everything to lose by telling it to this person and yet I did, knowing the risk because it was the right thing to do. @sad I’m hoping that upon further reflection, this person will see that there wouldn’t have been any reason at all to lie about this because it was in the past. Sometimes the truth sets you free but you can’t force someone else to understand and believe if they don’t want to.


    4. @author
      September 26, 2013 at 2:44 pm

      I disagree as writing the comment “sad” dear author gut feelings have never let me down once. It’s the mind that does for when we start to concote scenarios in our minds, why, what if, when , how could they, have they, no, yes, maybe? Some call it monkey madness or as I call it the “collective” which I see it as a panel of ppl debating back and forth.

      You unfortunately have even said it’s unfathomable? So in effect it may be hard to believe to another person. Sad all the same though for you say your being truthful. I’m sorry to hear that, all the best.


    5. KupKake&Pi 2
      September 26, 2013 at 6:37 pm

      What is true to you may not very well be truth for someone else . Not having a persons back is one thing, but who wants to be friends with someone that agrees with everything you say. No challenge . No inquiry exploration .That would totally suck. Another thing is if you start a friendship with a foundation full of lies or maybe not lies , the refusal to give an direct answer triggers mistrust in some people . Pure honesty never killed any one and if so the death wouldn’t be an dishonorable one.


    6. author
      September 26, 2013 at 6:44 pm

      @@author in this case I was using unfathomable because it’s hard for anyone to believe that my significant other was carrying on with a relative’s significant other while something serious was going on. I don’t feel like explaining any more than that but that person needed to hear it but they will not believe it. I probably wouldn’t either if it was told to me… until I really thought about it and who told me and as I said, what they had to lose vs the fact they had nothing to gain from the situation being revealed. Whatever, thank you though.


    7. anonymous
      September 27, 2013 at 5:32 am

      The ‘friend’ questioned you for a reason..I have been in a similar situation where I questioned a past friend about something..which I am pretty sure she is lying about..so I am actually not sad for losing this person. I am glad. My life is better off without her. Obviously you are not her, but people do not always tell the truth when they are asked an uncomfortable question..It feels good to have the knife out of my back..it was getting quite uncomfortable :).


    8. author
      September 27, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      @anon- pretty sure someone (who is supposedly you friend) is lying isn’t the same as being certain. There are things that are somewhat unbelievable at 1st hearing but if we care about the person who said it to us and we really think about it, we can figure out that it actually could be true. I’m saying that if someone really is your friend or a trusted relative, you should 1st consider the source and not the content. It’s really hurtful to be on the receiving end of someone not believing you when you are telling the truth (even if it is difficult to understand). Life can be strange and full of unusual, weird, unbelievable situations that are actually true… that’s all. &@kupkake the truth is the truth, whether someone chooses to believe it or not. Everyone is entitled to their own version of the story, but there really is only 1 truth and if you care about someone, they deserve the benefit of the doubt.


    9. Oddly...all I wanted was to find the Truth
      September 28, 2013 at 1:21 pm

      There’s an axiom that indicates once you reach to the very core of the matter and the Truth is finally revealed or discovered, it is generally when major healing takes place.

      In this case, it was like a horror film. I expected it to solve all those question marks floating around in my head.

      I suppose it was like a cop going to the scene of a single homicide, but going through each room in the large house, there was another body. Those guys get shocked too when they discover more than they planned to.

      I dunno, I look back and wonder if I wasn’t in a semi state of shock for possibly 6 weeks. It was too much for my psyche to bear. I’ve *always* gotten over any breakup fairly quickly, but they were the ‘normal kind.’ Irreconcilable differences I suppose would be the right term. Either that or someone wasn’t giving or bending to a degree I feel is highly appropriate, given the situation, the good things we had going for us, but one does need that ‘bending’ or cooperation/respect for the union, to have confidence to move forward.

      So the decision was always made: “Well, this one doesn’t appear to be solid wife material” so why waste my time any longer. Lol. I suppose when I was a younger pup and was struggling to ‘make it’ maybe I got replaced by better ‘husband’ material, as I didn’t have much money. It always boiled down to that when I was an up a coming puppus. Did get to flaunt a bit not too many years later…hahaha.

      But damn. This particular situation? Hell, only one lied to me before. I can say with 90%+ certainty, I’ve never been cheated on before. But this was that grisly house and the guys outside all looked half pale.

      That’s what it feels like.

      PS…I thinjk that ‘truth’ preept I’ve been running around with in my head; I hink that only applies in a real heavy ‘mental brain surgery’ administered by a expert. The truth about YOU…and suddenly when it’s found, you wouldn’t believe the good things that start happening.

      So I’ve been wrong in that area. Cause this time it was a knockout hit.

      Got my bell rung. For the first time. Ironic…the conclusion, now coming full circle.
      Because there were so many lies that I bought into, as being true, that’s what felt like Lawrence Taylor.

      The person didn’t knock me flat on my ass.
      The lies did.


    10. @oddly
      September 28, 2013 at 4:55 pm

      You would be known as a conversation ender. The End.


    11. @anonymous
      September 30, 2013 at 12:51 pm

      You must not have been much of a friend if you cut ties over being “pretty sure she is lying about”. I was on the other side of someone I thought was a friend and they were also pretty sure I was lying and it hurt like crazy to not be believed by someone I believed in and trusted. When that person found out I wasn’t lying at all, I’m pretty sure they felt worse than I originally had for not believing me… People should be more careful throwing friends away over being “pretty sure”



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