• Body

    by  • August 31, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 2 Comments

    All I ever think about is my body. How disgusting it is. I weigh myself ten times a day, look in the mirror at least 300 times a day. It just never leaves my mind. My mind is almost like a book, but for calories and fat. Any food I come across I know the calories and I know serving sizes and all that junk. I can’t just eat something. It’s this horrible process of seeing what has the least fat and for awhile even eating 100 calories scared me so much I would start to cry. Anorexia has taken over my life. Not just now, it has for years. I would make myself throw up and carve ‘fat’ into my body. I look at thigh gaps and bones all day long. I try diets and drink so much water. I take drugs so I won’t want to eat.. I’m so ashamed of myself but I just can’t stop. I’ve tried. So many times.. I remember one time when I started throwing up blood and I didn’t know what to do. I’m dying and instead of fixing it I’m sitting here waiting for it.. It could be so peaceful ya know..? I don’t deserve to be alive anymore.. Fat fat fat fat, that’s all I see when I look at myself and I can’t handle it anymore.

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    2 Responses to Body

    1. s
      August 31, 2013 at 11:44 pm

      Im sure your pretty as hell. People must tell you all the time. Like it matters right?

      Well your gonna do what your gonna do, I reckon it’s best if you seek help. You know thats what people

      say. Maybe you like doing this to your self Im not one to say if its right or wrong.

      But if it’s possible take care of your self, love your self, treat your self right. No one can do it but you.

      Good luck, what your dealing with going through is no joking matter and it’s complicated.


    2. Gayguy
      September 2, 2013 at 1:56 pm

      If you are not trolling I hope you seek help and realize that you are not making yourself any better looking. Some things you just have to live with. You have to realize that your are beautiful the way you are.

      You are abusing yourself . Trying to lose weight is fine but this is not. You should buy some ensure to replace the lost nutrients.



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