I needed to dull the memories to be able to carry on like normal. Everything happened so quickly, and I get so frustrated that someone who could just blip in and out of my life like so could have such a strong impact.
I overthink it. There’s so much that I want to happen, with the uncertainty of if you’ll ever even come back. I have such good dreams about you, so good in fact that I’m made the mistake of inferring it into my real life, and while I say I’m embarrassed for the slip, maybe I don’t really care all that much. Besides, I figure if you’re aware of all of my potential crazy before hand and you still come back then I did something right.
For now I carry on doing everything I intended to do to make myself somebody to be proud of, but I think of you often. I miss you. I’m not pulling my hair out in my grief or anything. I can feel you out there somewhere, and that is enough for me. At least for now. I hope you’re doing great things, I hope I slip into your thoughts once in awhile.
Thank you for the company.