• never look back

    by  • August 28, 2013 • Moving On • 0 Comments

    I was talking to my friend today and we were talking about you. We were talking shit about you. I had a dream about you last night and woke up furious and sad over you- GOD! I hate those dreams. What’s even worse is that I am even having dreams about you to begin with.

    Truthfully, I think about you though from time to time. I would love for you to see how much I’ve changed and how better off without you I am. It is difficult to forget you because I loved you with a fierce and passionate love, but I felt inadequate compared to you. You always made me feel like you could do better. I don’t know why- I was the only girl you’d ever been with that hadn’t cheated on you. That’s gotta say something right?

    I wonder if you think about me, ever. I hope you do. And I hope recognize how happy I am and how much you did me the biggest favor by breaking up with me. It was hard at the time, but I look back and have realized that you are a destructive person. You self sabotage any good romantic relationship in your life because you always look for the next best thing. It hurts that you considered me “mediocre” but really, you are the one that is mediocre!! I live a fulfilling life doing what I love and surrounding myself with people who lift me up. Being with you did not make me a better person- I lost myself by being with you. I am not saying I was perfect. I picked fights, I had trust issues, and could easily get jealous. Those are normal though. You dictating when I could and could not see my friends, not appreciating the hot meals I cooked for you when I fucking hate cooking, or waking up at 5 am every day to pick you up from work because you decided to sell your car and buy a motorcycle in the winter, or taking your dog out 3 times a day because you decided to sleep all day. Yet, you had the nerve to say I’m a mediocre girlfriend?! You’re delusional. I was an excellent girlfriend, and lucky for me, I have enough self esteem and confidence to realize you were the one who was fucked up.

    It’s been 7 exactly months since the day you broke up with me, and at the time I thought my world was over. Sometimes I think about you, like today, and I get a little sad. However, you did me the biggest favor by walking out of my life and never looking back.

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