I don’t really know how to explain or describe what I’m feeling or thinking.
All I know is that there’s something about him that I can’t ignore.
We have never really talked like this; texting for hours and hours, and sometimes, hours and hours into the night.
He has made me literally laugh out loud time and time again, and I just can’t really help it.
I know for a fact that I don’t LIKE him. And I know that I don’t NOT LIKE him. I guess I’m somewhere in between, right now, just trying to figure out where all of this is going.
I don’t want to be the one who always initiates the conversation, but I feel that if I don’t, then we won’t talk. And that actually makes me sad, and it stings a bit.
We reached a new level in our friendship about a month and a half ago when we shared the stories of our lives to each other. When I heard he moved, it put a little crack in my heart. When he sent that group message about missing us – I didn’t even have to read the contents of the message, just the sender’s name – I got teary eyed.
I didn’t think much of it, just that him and I were good friends and it felt that all the efforts I have EVER made in a friendship had finally paid off and been appreciated.
But, now, it’s slightly more than that to me, but I’m not sure how much more, exactly.
I’ve been going to bed hoping and praying my phone will go off and that I would see his name on my screen. I’ve been waking up in the morning hoping and praying, that when I check my phone, I will see his name on my screen.
I’ve been daydreaming about when he is going to come visit from Tennessee – who he would stay with (hopefully, me), what we would do when we hang out, the/any possibility of any romantic spark or situation.
I just want to know something – anything – about how he feels.