Who the hell am I kidding? I can keep faking it to everyone, but I can’t fake it to myself… I so wish I could turn back the clock.
I do feel happy. Truly I do. It’s taken me time to get to that point, but it’s there. Now I wish I could do things over again, having learned so much and experienced so many new things. All the things you wanted me to do with you. Why couldn’t I have just been that man before? If I could start all over – from the beginning and stop my mistakes – I don’t think I would pass up that chance. I know even if we could try again things wouldn’t be the same. We would have to make it better than ever. I so badly want to believe that. I tell myself I deserve better, but I can’t control my heart. I accepted that truth a long time ago. I understand the difference between want and need now. And I know I don’t need you back, I just want you back. I would give anything just to feel you in my arms again. I entertain thoughts that maybe someday you’ll want to try again. Maybe someday after we’ve grown wiser we’ll both want to try again. But that’s just my fantasy, and I’m sure you don’t feel the same.
I really feel you’ll forever be the one who got away.
My best friend… I miss you. And I still love you.
“I’d give you everything, if only I’d have known you’d take it
But you don’t, ’cause you’re you. That’s why I’ll always love you…
…my Pearl of the Stars.”
“If I lay here… If I just lay here… Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”