• Emotional whiplash

    by  • August 25, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 2 Comments

    The worst thing is that I have no idea who I’m more angry with – me for being a weak, naive, silly fool or you for being a lying, manipulative, heartless cretin. I suppose I could put it down to bad luck or bad timing or some other cliche but right now I’m too hurt to do that. Right now I have emotional whiplash – I’m angry, sad, confused, embarrassed and disappointed all at once. I’m broken. YOU BROKE ME. You hurt another person. How can you be so callous? You sucked me in, you played a great game. You made me trust you. You schemed and lied and became exactly who you knew I would trust. I told you everything, I let down walls I had up for 10 years. I told you of the abuse and the attack. I told you about how scared I was and how I didn’t sleep. You reassured me, you wrapped me up in a safe place. We had inside jokes and secrets.

    You were lying all along. You were cheating. You were laughing at me. You told people things I told you. And when I got suspicious you did something I never thought a person would do – you used my past against me. You made me believe it was all in my head. That I had been damaged but I could trust you. I cannot remember how many times you said I could trust you.

    The minute I found out for sure I presented my proof to you in a calm way, because against all my senses, I was hoping I was wrong. I was hoping you’d fight for me. I was hoping you would fight for US. But you laughed. You sneered. I was a game. This was all a game. A game that I could never even win because I didn’t even know I was playing.

    I put so much of my energy into trusting you, into working towards having a real relationship with someone so what do I do now? Try to hate you? Hate myself? Regret the time we were together? Run away? Right now all I can do is curl up and start to rebuild those walls. And this time they’re for keeps.

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    2 Responses to Emotional whiplash

    1. @author
      August 26, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      My heart goes out to you author for no one like’s to be cheated on says this man named David, & no one should play game with people for the pain can be too great. I just read a letter from someone I knew and it was a day after this I said many things about her yet she did much to for her actions were just as bad. Still I wouldn’t like to see anyone in pain such as you or I or even her. I’m over the back and forth, I was the only one who had faith. I hope you are ok and even though I am not he people say so many wrong & right things even if they are the truth/false it doesn’t matter both are at fault, both should act better to lead by example and be the better person. I ust read the letter she wrote and it was all backwards…she left not me lol. You are a good person like the majority on here, we all have our faults & we will love again. Saying that she did tear my soul to shreds and not one apology from her..It will get better I promise you




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    2. Oh
      August 27, 2013 at 8:42 am

      We’ve all been through this and the only advice I can offer is ‘this too shall pass’. The pain in your heart WILL ease, the constant treadmill of memories your brain is on WILL stop, you WILL laugh again, you WILL love again. And more than anything, you will be loved.
      It won’t be from him – you’re too good for him and he does not deserve you. He may never realise that, but hold your head high, for you have been honest, you have been true and you have respected him. His ignorance may be his bliss, but it will also be his downfall. Karma will fix it. So lay your head down, cry if you need to, get him out of your system and get ready for something new, something wonderful and something good to happen. And don’t forget to smile.




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