I can’t say that I don’t have an internal battle with myself because that will just be a lie. And I also cannot say that I didn’t have it coming – because I do.
But the thing that has perplexed me is how willing I am able to venture out into this cognitive dissonance that although I know full well what the aftermath will be I get into a mindset where I roll the dice and hope for a lucky number
Well not anymore. Not in this place, and not at any time in the future. Embarrassing? Check. Misunderstandings of my intentions into something I am afraid they think is bad? Yup.
But there isn’t much I can do to calm a self made conflict you know?