• I’m the one who got away

    by  • August 24, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Closure • 7 Comments

    I know you have been stringing me along, saying cute things, doing nice things, for me, trying to get me to fall in love with you because you like me as an option. You like how a “nice” girl like me is interested in you even though you don’t like me enough to commit. It makes you feel good about yourself, probably because you need an ego boost because things are still messed up with your ex girlfriend even though somehow she is still in the picture. Ever heard of moving the hell on?

    Guess what- I am not an option. I will never be an option, or a back up plan, or an ego booster. I am nice because I have a heart of gold, doesn’t mean you can walk all over me. It is my fault for being so naïve, but I bet it felt great to have someone believe in you for once at the expense of my own happiness. For the record, if you were not only using me to make yourself feel good but were also trying to get into my pants, you are dumber that I thought.

    This is what will happen in the future. I will meet someone, and he will receive all my love. I will support him to my best ability emotionally, his happiness will be a priority to me and we will walk through life together side by side, knowing that although we have interests outside each other, being together makes us happier than being apart. But that guy will never be you, and you won’t find anyone who would do that for you, because you are broken and are attracted to brokenness. You have not broken and will never break me.

    You may not know it yet- but I’m the one who got away.

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    7 Responses to I’m the one who got away

    1. Dr Freud STaT
      August 24, 2013 at 11:48 am

      Nice girl?

      You are not short on arrogance.

      I had one who used to say the very same thing.

      Easily, the worst girlfriend I ever had.

      I have found little that is ‘good’ about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all. That is something that you cannot say aloud, or perhaps even think.

      Sigmund Freud

      I was lucky, I knew so may good ones I couldn’t see the bad ones and the games they played with my mind.
      Sick games. The kind plated by a Sociopath


    2. not the author
      August 24, 2013 at 6:18 pm

      @Sigmund – I think we may have communicated before. Some agreements, some disagreements on topics. Anyway, I do not know you personally however can feel you seem extremely hurt by someone who was careless. Instead of attacking you on here because of your pain (I’ve been attacked due to what sounded like bitterness), I wanted to extend an “I am very sorry for your pain.” I have not walked in your shoes, but I think we could have walked a similar path. I hope things turn around for you in a positive manner.


    3. not the author
      August 24, 2013 at 6:54 pm

      @author – have also been “there”. It of course doesn’t make you a sociopath. It might just mean quite the opposite and you are just reinstating your healthy boundaries. Nothing wrong with that. Good for you.


    4. @NTA/ Someone will get the picture
      August 25, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      Thank you for your comment.

      Yes, I know that talkin into the air (rolls eyes) sometimes is just letting off steam.

      But when you’ve known someone for 20 months, you know of their new love, you read
      the same words, phrases , infelections, sentences you’ve heard 50 times verbatim,
      it prompts a reaction.

      It’s possible I had just read the following article. I also know that the guy she’s after stands to lose
      maybe a million dollars or more if he falls for her game.

      This person has an ingenius knack for turning things around and twisting realities.

      “Sociopaths have a genius for adoring. Their understanding of your wants and needs matched with their charm and flexible personality mean that they can and will literally become the man or woman of your dreams. In fact, when I love, my first step is to gather as much information as possible about every aspect of the person’s life in order to more closely resemble their ideal mate.”

      There’s “nothing they won’t do” is the moral of the story.



    5. Someguy
      August 25, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      You don’t seem like you loved this guy at all………… it’s almost like you were waiting for him to fall in love with you first. And it didn’t work. Maybe you aren’t broken in the same way as this guy, but your fixation on brokenness and not being broken, in itself speaks VOLUMES about your character.

      When I read this letter I envisioned a flirtatious woman that acts adoring, flattering, and “mirrors” the other person to win him or her over…….. Whirlwind romance is her trademark. …………. and has an inner tantrum when it doesn’t work. But……….. anger=weakness. People like her resent weakness in themselves and prey on it in others. I bet she has never let anyone see that she is angry (or see any emotion other than a positive, nurturing one).

      People like the author (if I’m right) seek out “broken” people because those are precisely the people who feed on the ego-stroking and adoration most, and reciprocate. According to the author, the guy won’t find anyone like her because he is broken. If you are so healthy, author, you would be around other healthy people and they would be attracted to you. I bet that most, if not all, of your closest friends and lovers have had complex emotional problems and behaviors…….. way beyond typical growing pains. The author likely thinks this makes her a Mother Teresa figure but I am willing to bet it is because she has a personality disorder of her own.

      Everyone here is dealing with problems so I could be projecting and so could other people. But the fact that more than one person had this reaction to your letter means you should think about it.


    6. A light
      August 25, 2013 at 11:41 pm

      wow. I could have written this letter.

      To all the armchair psychoanalysts, I have a feeling you are trying to deflect the blame away from someone who was mostly likely a player, (doing things for his own selfish gain) and onto a girl who simply wouldn’t let herself be another “wham bam thank you mam” and notch on the player’s bedpost.

      Doll, ignore the bitter male internet therapists who are clearly grasping at straws to read in-between the lines of your post in order to project their own issues onto your situation. I hear where you’re coming from loud and clear. When you realize your worth, you’ll no longer chase men guys who you *think* will fulfill your desires and needs, and rather, you’ll seek out men who compliment your needs without any friction, struggle or resistance. It starts with self love and realizing you deserve to receive what you intend to give and demonstrate through your actions. No sweet talk can ever conceal ulterior motives once you’ve experienced true sincerity. You ‘ll know sincerity when you see it. Just be yourself, love yourself and do not give any of your time to those who don’t value yours.

      God bless.


    7. @A light
      August 26, 2013 at 10:57 am

      Once more I hope you don’t think that was I for it was not yet me once more so & I for one never thought she was a notch on the bedpost I loved and still do love her. I wouldn’t comment if it was negative and you sound so mad yet at ogther times the complete opposite:( You were wrth more than everything! No one should blame another as we co-create our own vibrations. Far out YOU why?

      For the record I personally would never or want to be a player as I believe in LOVE

      And yes it is you GOD BLESS YOU TOO. My motives were loud and clear and always upfront & so were yours Im not making any excuses only being real with you.



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