On June 12, I met you unexpectedly. You came to a dinner I didn’t know you were invited to. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, I’ve had some bad relationships. After making out that night, I planned to leave you in the past. You lived out of town, college soon… Why make it serious?
But you opened that door, anyway. Instead of giving me compliment after compliment about how beautiful I am (which you also did,) you commented on my intelligence. On my grace. The way I am, not the way I look. I swear I fell in love with you that night.
Not long I found out some sad, dark things about you. They broke my heart. But I felt something with you I’ve never felt before… I couldn’t let it go. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me two, three, four, five times, shame on me. But I still couldn’t let you go.
You were honest. You told me you still loved her, but I didn’t care. I fear hope has destroyed me. You insisted eventually you’d let her go, clean up, and try it with me. You said you wanted it. I think a part of you did… But not enough.
Last night will be the last night I see you for awhile. You told me some brutally honest things. Things that put bile in my throat. But I would still take you. I knew I’d regret being that close last night. Your head on my lap, my legs across your lap. Falling asleep by you. But I’ve learned some things, I must live in the moment.
Last night, I felt a happiness I’ve never felt in my life. It started in my stomach and shone throughout my entire body, reached every corner of my insides. I love you, I love you, I love you. I realized last night, I don’t care it’s only been three months. Or that you love your ex and chose her over me, even though I’d treat you better than she ever has. If you came up to me tomorrow, I would still love you. I would forgive you.
All our lives, we talk about searching for this instant connection, when we know it’s real. I found it. I know you felt it, I saw the way you looked at me. Someday, I pray her spell wears off.
And I pray that it won’t be too late… That you haven’t already forgotten me.