She said it’s not my fault. She said it must have been an own personal issue of his, but when i replay the last two days i feel it was me. Me and my mouth that never fucking opens. It’s my fault. I’m not affectionate enough, I don’t know how to let someone in. I don’t know how to make someone not feel alone because i myself have been alone. It’s all I’ve ever been used to. So, fuck me if someone comes along and tries to be apart of me. It’s hard, it’s so fucking hard but i was getting attached to you. Please come back, i don’t want to feel this way.
I had such a horrible trip that night. I’ll never forget it. Every place you ever felt me suddenly felt highlighted on my body. I couldn’t get you off of me and oh the god damn love bites you left me on my neck. They were piercing into me. Never had i had such a horrible trip. It felt like all the thoughts of you that were racing in my head were these giant fire ants and i couldn’t get them off. It wasn’t until i sang a song in my head that i fell asleep. Once, i wasn’t high anymore i felt better. I felt better when i woke up. I had almost forgotten and then i saw my favorite show on the guide and i felt like crumbling. I instantly regretted ever watching it with you. Our first kiss had the background of them speaking. That show was the basis of my childhood and i watched it with you almost every time you came over. How am i suppose to enjoy it at all now? The first time you ever slept over we watched it and you admitted that you actually liked it. My entire bedroom is practically soiled because of you.
I’ll never want to read Edgar Allan Poe again. Please come back. There’s an actual sunken feeling inside my chest. Did i fuck up that badly in two days? Please, please come back. I used to thank god that night i ran into you at the movies but now I’m questioning why you ever thought it was a good idea to come into my life if you were going to leave me like this. I’m sorry i turned out to be disappointing. I’m sorry that I’m distant. I’ll try harder to over come this stupid fear if you come back. Please, please, i don’t want to feel this way.