• Confession.

    by  • August 21, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    I self harm.
    As in cut.

    Do I regret starting? Yes.
    Do I regret that I keep doing it? No.

    People self harm because they feel as if they have no other escape. NOT FOR ATTENTION.

    It pisses me off when people say self harm is for attention seekers.

    Oh yeah, because I cut my own skin, and hide it from people, because I WANT ATTENTION.

    Dumbasses.

    Everyone is different. Everyone has their own level of weakness.

    Everyone gets picked on in school, but that doesn’t mean everyone gets picked on by the same thing.

    There are people who are really insecure about themselves, like me.
    It hurts when people say things about you.

    Call me fat.
    Call me ugly.

    Just know, that everything you call me, I already call myself. SO you’re just proving my point.

    I started self harming about 2 years ago.

    I’ve stopped, then started again.
    I’m one month clean, which I am proud about..

    The month of June was a terrible month for me.
    2 of my close uncles died because of Cancer, in a 2 week time span.

    Also in the month of June, 5 people died in a house fire.

    Anna V., mother of Breanna V. They both died that night.
    Anna had cancer, and I helped organize a cancer benefit for her. I also sang at that benefit, the first time in front of a large group.

    Jessica H., sister of my best friend, Holli H. Both died that night.

    Holli was a sweet girl, really. But, she started out Junior High badly. She broke into lockers and stole phones, but no one knew what was going on at home.
    They started bullying her, not physically, but mentally.
    I have to admit, at one point, I said somethings that were rude to her. And I regret it.
    But she’s gone now, and there’s nothing I can do to take it back.

    Cassaundra T., also known as Cassi, my other best friend. She died that night.

    She was also bullied mentally, but she had a lot of friends. She was a nice girl, but could be snotty.

    Holli and Cassi, man I miss you guys. It’s hard talking about you guys.
    No one uses the lockers you guys had last year, all the notes are still on it. (:
    I miss you guys a ton, but I know you’re watching over me.

    Anywho, I’m trying to stop. But I can’t promise anything.

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