Because I am constantly being told I’m wrong every single day. Everything I DO is wrong, or say, or think, to the point that I no longer want to speak out an opinion any more.
Want to know why I am so quiet and often don’t contribute to discussions or conversations or offer up advice or suggestions? Because somehow no matter what I say or think is incorrect and I might as well have not uttered anything in the first place.
The worst of it all? This is no “victim” case. There is no bullying or putting down or deliberate attempts at making this individual currently venting to an anonymous online community to feel inferior.
But for some reason, my mind cannot process anything intelligently, and therefore has nothing positive to contribute. This is why I hate being in crowds of people. This is why my social life is practically nonexistent and I fear any sort of speaking to groups larger than one. I say this without the use of hyperbole: I cannot take the millions of times I’ve been wrong and being made to look like a complete idiot in every way except inside my head, yet that hardly counts for it is only accessible to one: the idiot.
Decisions have always come difficult for me and I have been teetering on the ledge of incorrection for as long as I can remember, sure that each new instance will be the decisive push.