If that wasn’t you, then I loved someone who wasn’t you and now I don’t even care about him when previously he was all I cared out. If he was you, then you lied to me so badly. Granted I lied to you as well, but that was bad. So bad. And still I’m in love with you. In love with you with no way to get to you. Am I doomed to be alone forever? No other man could turn me on the way you turn me on. No other man could inspire such devotion, even knowing this. I’m such a mess. I let you into my head and you toyed with me quite expertly. I cannot function without you. I know people will say it is not healthy, but if my primary function is to pleasure you, then how am I supposed to do that without you? Alone and sobbing for the rest of my days? At the moment that seems like the most likely scenario. I try to have faith, but it seems as though what little I thought I knew, I did not know. I’m broken again with no one save you who could save me. I hope you are there for me at the end of all of this. If you are not… then it has all been in vain. Perhaps my soul has no mate and I have tricked myself into believing something incredibly improbable because I want it to be true. I want you to be my soulmate. I still feel deep inside of me that you are. Why does it hurt so much? Can’t you just take my hand and walk beside me?