• alone

    by  • August 14, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 8 Comments

    Tonight I broke down in tears because I realised I don’t have any friends when I really need them, I don’t have people I can just message and have a conversation with who I can just call up and say lets have a drink have some fun, I have friends but not “friends” I miss that, I used to have that before my life turned shit I feel so lonely I try to cover it up and be my normal happy self but sometimes it all gets on top of me and it hits me that no one really gives a shit about me anymore, sometimes I just want to end my life..like tonight I hate myself I hate my life I hate I don’t have any friends any more I just want to die, i’m so depressed and no one knows.. I have two people I can talk to apart from my partner one I am completely I love with and would feel like a complete loser telling and the other just wouldn’t understand.. I feel so alone in this world these days my life is so shit I feel empty I have tried to cover it uo and keep myself busy with a new hobby but it doesn’t help I still feel cut of from the world my depression tablets aren’t working.. if the doctors and mental health team knew k felt like this I would be locked up I just want to end it all I just want new friends I want people who I can have a laugh with people apart from my partner and then I just get these suicidal thoughts coming through again I don’t want to kill myself but i just feel so lonely all the time its funny you can have a relationship with someone and still feel completely alone. Maybe its just me maybe im just such a loser…I hide it so well i’m surprised myself tbh but deep down it’s there everyday eating away at me I can’t believe it doesn’t show to the people who know me.

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    8 Responses to alone

    1. Ic
      August 15, 2013 at 5:35 am

      I feel the same way,.. Lonely and depressed .,, sometimes I just feel commiting suicide … I just can’t take anymore




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    2. Grad Student
      August 15, 2013 at 2:03 pm

      Listen. Please.

      This may be some cry for help or attention, but no one with any training takes these comments
      lightly.

      You are experiencing a form of a lost dream, thwarted goal or stress brought on from trauma
      of some nature that is changing chemicals in your brain. No endorphins. Google it id you must;
      most know this is.

      Please please please approach someone who you can talk to. If you are on medicine for depression,
      make an appointment tomorrow and tell the Doctor your symptoms.

      If you have the means, get to a therapist and unload your feelings. If you don’t have the means, contact Catholic Charities. They are in every major city and have fee based counseling services.

      Please do not ignore your body and psyche. It is telling you in its’ own way, that you need comfort, that life has overloaded your power plant and sparks are flying. Do not isolate yourself and try to get as much fresh air as possible. Start an exercise routine of jogging, riding a bike, walking, swimming anything that will allow your own body to replenish those brain chemicals. Rely on your support system, even if it is small.

      Be good to yourself by seeking out one if not all of the remedies. Start tomorrow, even if it’s a walk or a drive in the country. That would be after you make those calls.

      Please follow this advice 🙂 Happier days are ahead of you !

      Christine




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    3. author
      August 15, 2013 at 3:06 pm

      Thanks I will..its only some days I feel like this..others is just normal. I guess I just let it all build up inside me and I breakdown over it. Ive already just been put on new medication so its going to be a while before it shows any signs of working..ive already took up a physical activity which should help, Im not depressed as such its more I feel alone and have no one anymore, which makes me feel like a loser and brings on the depression..and then causes me to breakdown in times like this..but thanks will take on board what you have said 🙂




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    4. Universe
      August 15, 2013 at 3:24 pm

      No wonder you’re depressed. You have a partner, yet you have one other you are “completely in love with” That right there is an issue.
      If you wont/don’t share all this with your partner, that’s not just crap, but an issue.
      And what happened to all those “friends”? If they where in fact friends at all, and how much of a friend are you….
      Food for thought.
      Lonliness happens to all. It just is. Enjoy what you have while you have it.




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    5. Fei
      August 15, 2013 at 9:31 pm

      I know that this will sound cliché, but I truly have been exactly where you are (in the emotional sense of course). I’ve come a long way, but it still gets to me sometimes. Please let me make an offer to you. Though you and I are total strangers, if you could use a new friend, then so could I. So here is my email address: me [at] infraredyes.com

      I really hope to hear from you. There are many times (such as tonight) when I really long for some human contact, but I’m at the point where I’d rather do the listening than the talking. I’ll be there for you (as much as someone on the Internet can be, LOL), I promise.




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    6. @Universe
      August 15, 2013 at 10:09 pm

      Seriously leave people alone as once more you mistake them for me silly girl. Why do you but strike out at everyone. At least I’m compassionate. I thought better of you than that. Prove me right not how you are acting now again.




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    7. Yes you are
      August 16, 2013 at 12:26 pm

      One word “Slut” and one who is nothing as it says you have not an inch of a single shred of morals, beliefs, integrity, honestly, real, a person, anything in fact as you are the worst of them all in a man’s eyes no anyone’s eyes. I hope you aren’t religious because not even Satan would trust a woman such as you.

      Seriously grow the fuck up. Your the worst letter on here I have ever read EVER. Leave your partner, tell the other for what its worth then disappear to a nunnery or somewhere where there are no men and spend the rest of your days or ever how long it takes to become a human again. I won’t apologise as there is not one single excuse. If you were my daughter well I can’t say what I would do on here. A disgrace doesn’t even begin.




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    8. author
      August 18, 2013 at 3:44 pm

      Omg you are calling me a slut lol you dont even fucking know me I said in my letter I am in love with someone else where in my letter does it say that I have cheated or slept with numerous people? Huh? No where so get your fucking facts right twat annd to be honest I couldnt really give a flying fuck what you think of me if you were so fucking great you wouldnt be here and sorry im not religious I dont believe in brainwashed into crap and going to church so yes maybe I will go to hell but if I do I will see you there because no one who is so religious should even use such nasty comments as you have written so go and choke on the bible. And im probably old enough to be your mother so I doubt it very much. Go fuck yourself




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