I’m sitting here, standing here, lying here, whatever, it doesn’t really matter.
I was fine, really fine. I thought I’d be okay. I thought it was over. I thought it would be a good week, month, whatever.
I’m wrong. It’s coming. It’s like that ocean wave you see coming in from a distance, getting larger and larger until it crashes down on top. Like a tornado you’re hoping it doesn’t turn this way, that it doesn’t move towards you, but it does. And suddenly you’re filled with gut wrenching sadness. Distrust. Emptiness. All of it sucks everything out of you.
The people you walk by in the street, at school, at work. They don’t know. They haven’t a clue. And you just sit and watch.
As you’re sucked dry. Left like an empty bag to drift along the street. I can’t help it. I want this to stop. I can try to be optimistic all I want. All I try. But it’s there like the monster in the closet. Creeping out and taking my soul away while I’m sleeping. I can’t fight it. I can’t resist it.
It’s coming. I’m so tired of this. I wish things could be a bit simpler.