I wrote you an angry thingy, but I’m not going to send it. I want to treat you gently. Still, I’m going to say exactly what I mean and pour out my feelings here in letter form. You deserve the full truth and the full force of my emotions. I want to be completely open and honest with you, so here are the things that are going through my head:
Listening to this song would make me cry almost every single time. I was going to say it doesn’t now, but sure as fuck it does.
I feel so fucking alone. I mean fuck.
Why do you fix me and break me over and over again? Why do you leave me shaken and unable to breathe? Did I make a mistake in letting you have this power? Did I ever even have a choice?
I’m tired of turning metaphorical cartwheels and actual cartwheels and making failed cartwheel attempts in inappropriate places. So tired.
I don’t regret it often, but this is one of the times I think about taking off the ring. And then I realize I can’t. And it breaks me. I want to hate it. I want to hate you. It would be so much easier. Why does it have to be so fucking hard?
Maybe this is my fault.