I’m terrified of what we could become. I’m a broken girl, you know this; I’ve been abused and used, time and time again. I don’t trust men, or people in general, really. My feelings I keep guarded and buried way down within so no one can use them against me. But you bring all that nonsense to the surface. You make me some crazy, emotional, needy girl… and I don’t know how to handle that.
I need to know where I stand with you, really stand. I know you care about me and I hope I’m not just some forgettable number on your list, but… things are inevitably going to end soon and I just need to know if we have a chance later on, when things are better for us both in life. This is the first time I’ve ever been worried about a relationship ending, and it is incredibly unnerving to feel that…
All I wanted was your companionship, but you make me so happy, so at peace with everything. I honestly don’t even care much about the sex anymore, I just want to be with you, sleep in your arms, I don’t care if you fall asleep right away and leave me awake for hours, you really don’t understand the effect you have on me, even while unconscious. I haven’t truly smiled so much in years.
Love is not an easy emotion for me to feel, so don’t worry, that’s not where I’m going with this. But you have been one of the best things to happen to me, and I don’t want to lose you, I want to know what we could be if given the chance. I’m absolutely terrified of falling in love, to my core… but at the same time, I trust you with that part of me… Maybe we’re nothing but lonely kids surviving the cold summer together… part of me hopes so, while another dreads it…
Yours, in trepidation,