• This is it

    by  • August 6, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 0 Comments

    Dear J,

    Tonight you text me. But you didn’t text me for the right reasons. You text me because you saw for once that since you’ve left me other guys notice me. Other guys want me. You saw that I’m finally doing okay without you.

    I miss you. I miss you so much sometimes I feel like my world is caving in on itself. I wanted to be the perfect girl for you. I wanted to be good enough. And at one point I thought I was. But I guess that never really happened, did it?

    But tonight. Tonight you told me you wanted us to be friends. Well J, I would rather die than see you happy without me. I loved you. Hell, I still do love you. And I know you’ll probably never see this letter but I need to get this out because I’ve had this bottled up for so long.

    We talked about getting married. We talked about having kids. I’ve never done that with anyone else. And I know we’re just kids but in the moment it felt so real.

    I hope you miss me when I’m gone. I hope you see that I can be happy without you. I hope that I can see that too…

    God, how did you make it so easy leaving me? Why were you able to walk away from me so happy and I’m still here. Still missing you. Still wanting to die at the very thought of you.

    I hope you’re okay for the both of us. Because God knows I’m not okay. I just want to feel okay again. I want to be the girl I was before you came into my life. But most of all I want you to love me like I love you.


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