I never thought I would be the type of person to waste me time on someone who doesn’t love me back. I never thought I would spend hours analyzing conversations that you don’t even remember having. I never thought I would let you stop me from living my life.
In hindsight for you it was a power thing. You knew I’d always be there, that I’d always answer your calls, that I couldn’t stay mad and you used that to your advantage. You manipulated me so you would feel important, feel loved and to feed the serious insecurities that you have. You treated me like your back up, and I stupidly allowed you to enter and leave my life as you pleased, I could almost call you my part time friend. Loving you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.
But I can’t blame you. I became too focused on the ‘what ifs’ rather than what was real, I lost sight of my self while I was blindly chasing after you. I let myself fall into the trap of being your back up, of allowing you to treat me like I was nothing.
I’ll miss our friendship, I’ll miss your annoying comments, I’ll miss your hugs, I’ll miss you. To be honest at this point I don’t even think you will miss me, but I am more than this.
I hope you never treat anyone like you’ve treated me, but you probably don’t even realise I feel this way, or if you do you mustn’t care.
I honestly wish you nothing but love and happiness, but I think you’ve got a lot of issues to sort out before you do. I would have happily been there to help you do this, but you didn’t want me and now I’ve had enough of wanting you.