• Unnecessary bullshit drama

    by  • July 31, 2013 • To You • 11 Comments

    It really comes down to what you want and what the other person wants. If it’s eachother then you would make the necessary changes to make it a reality. It wouldn’t happen “someday” and it wouldn’t turn into half truths and mindgames. It wouldn’t happen when one person has “had enough” and it shouldn’t happen when one person has already walked out the door.

    Everyone has a choice. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. If you get taken for granted or your needs aren’t met then it’s up to you to speak up or step away. If the other person treats you badly then why are you letting them? A relationship is more likely to work if you stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be a doormat. And if you’re the asshole in the scenerio, it all comes back around in the end. It may take some time, but it always does.

    And don’t get me started on love triangles. Waste of time. It’s not fair to the people you are playing who don’t have all the necessary info to make an informed decision. You hurt people unnecessarily. For what? A fucking backup plan? An ego boost? Fucking stupid. You know what a complicated situation is? AN EXCUSE. I’ve been there. I KNOW.

    You want to lash out at me? You want to be in denial? Go ahead. See for yourself. I’m sure you’ll be THE ONE who’s story ends differently. HA! Live and learn.

    This isn’t meant for you, or you or you, or whomever thinks it’s for them. But if you see yourself in this and it strikes a nerve, think about it. Long and hard. It might save you a world of pain. Unless that’s what feeds you. And that’s a whole other ball of bullshit…

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    11 Responses to Unnecessary bullshit drama

    1. Dangggg
      September 5, 2013 at 6:12 am

      Oh it hit a nerve alright. You are so right in your statements. I dont know why it is so hard to leave when I know I love someone else. It is easier said then done I suppose. I need the strength to walk away. Im trying to find it. I lost my strength somewhere in this relationship. Lost my strength to fight.




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    2. author
      September 5, 2013 at 9:21 am

      The longer you wait, you run the risk of it being too late.

      At some point, the person who waits for you will realize they deserve more than waiting. They may logically conclude that you do not love them because you are perfectly content to do nothing. If you really love the other person (and at least respect the person you are staying with), then you would let them both go. You will never find happiness following this path of least resistance.

      One day you will wake up and realize you are not happy and just walking through life (if you stay with someone you are not in love with). And worst of all you will come to the realization you killed the chance you had with the love of your life. How will you feel then? Will you feel better about being with “your safety net” then?

      I feel for you, but the truth is, you are not acting in a healthy way. And you know this. And that’s why you are unhappy. Right?




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    3. Odd Man Out
      September 5, 2013 at 11:36 am

      @ author.

      Been there. T Shirt ripped .

      Right in the heart.

      But I was in love with a mirage. A lie. An actress in a sick drama.

      I…and her other lovers…kept hidden from me, we aren’t people !

      We’re OBJECTS.

      I have half a mind to visit another site. it’s a no BS type of place.

      ‘Don’t be the last to know” ™
      is their slogan

      http://www.cheaterville.com/




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    4. author
      September 5, 2013 at 1:04 pm

      @odd man out…….You keep saying the same thing over and over again. It’s tired. I’ve been abused too, you are not unique. Please go to cheaterville, then maybe the rest of us will get peace. If you want sympathy, then go yak ad nauseum to someone/somewhere who hasn’t heard it all before. If you obsess about it all the damn time all you are doing is retraumatizing yourself. Get off the fucking ride already. She’s a bitch, yada yada yada….she’s fucked up, blah blah…wahwah meeeeee. When is it enough? Here’s a hint …..IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. SO JUST STOP. If she’s a narc she won’t see the errors of her ways so all you are doing is letting her revictimize you over and over again by keeping her in your skull! You wouldn’t let yourself be raped up the ass if you could stop it would you????




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    5. Caught in a crossfire/ TO ALL MALES HERE
      September 5, 2013 at 4:24 pm

      The author stated
      “And don’t get me started on love triangles. Waste of time. It’s not fair to the people you are playing who don’t have all the necessary info to make an informed decision. You hurt people unnecessarily. For what? A fucking backup plan? An ego boost? ”

      A question/ story posed to the men out there

      1. This has never happened to me, so I’m new to this.The TRIANGLE.** If i was ever cheated on…oh, that doesn’t matter. The deal is if something was going on/brewing…whatever….the thing ENDED, one way or another…… before she ‘done went and fkked em’
      Lol. trying to be lighter about this.

      2. Since I have no knowledge of this ever happening (not to boast, but let’s just say women get satisfied)
      I am ASKING THE MALES HERE…well, i will ask it this way:
      “Do you understand how traumatic this is to have this happen to you in a ‘committed relationship?’

      Let’s go one further. WOMEN…what’s your OPINION? Are you aware of what damage this causes?

      Have you seen any of your friends ‘pull this ‘ on guys? (For the time being, lets narrow this to what THE GUY feels. I’ll be delighted to answer any thread about how it effects women…but this needs to stay focused)

      I don’t give a FK about the few month dating situations. Easy. Move on.
      I must admit, I haven’t had those kind since early 20’s and 2-3 in early 30’s. My ‘entanglements’ besides these (my new word for relationships) have always been over 10-12 months at the shortest, two that were 4.25 yrs lol. (avg the 2) Numerous lasting “12-24 months. I don’t ‘sport date’ Waste of time. Just me.

      3. But THIS one….I expected to marry !! Forever kind of thing. The words were used at least every week. You + Me=Never End. No worries. Solid. This is it. You ARE ‘THE ONE’ ..WE ARE PERFECT MATCH. “TEAM ‘S__” (we would have then had the same initials) [I did love that one….It was so sweet. Me and my honey…a TEAM…I don’t know, I just **loved** that particular one ] …still following me?

      4. It is awful !! My divorce was 10x easier.
      I got pissed off at my last ef (we lived together ) and finally tired of her shit…and said “Fuck it” I left. Some jackass she met (who told her tons of lies.. .. real WHOPPERS.. was doing some photo shoots with her… promising her the moon re her ‘big break’ …….cause her career was EVERYTHING to her) , ..maybe that’s why she was getting a bit pissy.??? I mean this guy came off like he was David Foster meets Jerry McGuire meets Col. Tom Parker.

      So I’m out one night getting lit up…two nights later and MY car drove ITSELF** to my former residence just for grins, cause she was having a few too many dinners with Mr. Photog/ promoter. Stupid me. I was cool with it..never did suspect anything until maybe a day or two later…thinking about the events, etc. Just curious. Drive by….fuckers truck is there. Col…”Juice !” I’m thinking.[it means excitement; a thrill] I was a bit bummed, cause she was a knockout and I did love her, but she wasn’t ‘a good bet’ for me anymore and i had FULLY come to terms with that.
      (** I did NOT drive there…the car did it….LAO. “i wasn’t driving. A guy named Jack Daniels was’ )

      So I peek around….no one visible. I still have the key…so I’m like “Fuk it ! Check dis OUT, nigga ” (me)
      So I go inside (still a legal resident) …nothing. Not a peep. mmmmm???? it’s only 12:30 am. Now I knew where they were..obviously. I wasn’t so premeditated to turn on the camera in phone,,,Fyi..

      I open the door and here is this big fat fk sprawled on the other side of the bed. No hugging; snuggling. Hell, they may not have even ‘done it’ (Who cares ! lol)

      Point is …I busted out laughing !

      She wakes up, spaced quite a distance from FF…and is pretty shocked to see me ! Laughing at her. I bolted of course, left a few laughing/shut shaming voice mails…could barely deliver them cause I found it funny.
      I found it even funnier when NONE of what he told her, ever happened. Whoppers Iz tellin you ! Asshole took her for a ride….OK, accidental pun there. Totally bullshitted her.

      HERE’S the point: Everyone either (on the 25% where they basically broke up w me) turned a bit asshole, making me do it…or mustered up the guts to have a talk….No one was mean, it was always “You’re a great guy….etc” Hell…long time ago. I do the ending…have for 20 years, minus Patricia. That was kinda ‘even’…

      But to find out YOU’VE BEEN TAKEN FOR A RIDE….TOTALLY LIED TO…..EVERYTHING IS FINE….and learning they have been ROMANCING THEIR EX FOR THE BETTER PART OF A YEAR?????

      ALL THE WHILE HEARING ‘SOULMATE’…’LOVE OF MY LIFE’….EVERYTHING SO SWEET…SO ‘SOLID’…SO GENUINE?
      FUCK….I JUST DIDN’T HAVE THE SKILLS /BACKGROUND / A SINGLE PAST EVENT TO DRAW ON that might allow me to cope with the PREMEDITATED NATURE and the LEVEL, SOPHISTICATION, CONVINCING MANNER in which this was being carried out.

      GOD***MIT !! YOU’D THINK seeing the girl you loved in bed with a dude would be bad….even though I had some to grips with ‘she isn’t good for me.’ But 4 days earlier, WE were making hot love. So it was pretty fresh.

      BUT THIS LOVE TRIANGLE SHIT?

      ANY GUY WHO WOULD PINE FOR SOME WOMAN…that she knows is sleeping with someone else…and they are ‘waiting for her? ‘ My God !

      I didn’t there were any whimps like like left in this world.

      ALL I KNOW IS THAT A LOVE TRIANGLE THAT’S HIDDEN?
      IT’S the WORST. EMOTIONAL EVENT THAT CAN HAPPEN TO SOMEONE, IN MY OPINION.
      .
      HANDS DOWN.




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    6. All The Posters Come Down
      September 5, 2013 at 4:40 pm

      From the record “There Were Signs”

      “brushing against your should suddenly
      staying beside you for the rest of the night

      Soon I came to the city to see you
      but you turned me away
      people talk when they see me walk by
      and I hear what they’re saying
      they say you treated me cruel
      they say I acted a fool
      all the posters come down”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVfEjVMcZ_c

      This hard to find cd is real gem ..at least to me
      I’m on a Bill G kick. Wrote him a letter today about a project with a lot of merit




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    7. @@odd man out
      September 5, 2013 at 5:08 pm

      author
      September 5, 2013 at 1:04 pm…….You keep saying the same thing over and over again.

      Can’t tell who’s writing. I’m guessing at this point….
      I find the comment a bit perplexing. In a general sense, doesn’t everyone?

      Btw…I’m going to be as polite as possible here.
      That one, considering the tone, subject matter and intent…this is the last time you ‘tell me what to do’
      Reasonable request?

      We clear?
      We good?

      I’ll write into cyberspace until my anger leaves, thank you.
      Oddly. my mood improves day by day. Like you care 🙂
      Wait, are you….. are you the married guy….. with the mistress?

      What, did you change your mind again? For the 100th time?

      I do appreciate the advice part and will take the nugget that resonates under serious consideration.

      Have a blessed day 🙂




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    8. author
      September 7, 2013 at 4:06 pm

      No on both counts. I’m not a married guy with a mistress.




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    9. Dangggg
      October 11, 2013 at 1:00 am

      Right. Regardless, it is still very difficult to break someones heart who you care about very much even if you are no longer in love. You want to keep fighting because it is what you know and you want to find the love again. I messed up by involving someone else, and as innocent as it truly was I understand now how that made things so much more difficult for myself. I hope my person gives me a chance once I make these changes, it takes time ‘moving on’ figuratively and literally. I am in the process, and while it hurts like hell to feel like I have already lost the true love of my life, I know I still need to go through with it. I think your letter has helped me in some way and I want to thank you for that. 🙂




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    10. author
      October 11, 2013 at 2:47 pm

      You are welcome. I wish you luck.




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    11. @Crossfire
      October 12, 2013 at 9:10 am

      You are a bad mabo jama.

      And a happy SP to you.

      “Ramble On”




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