• Trust

    by  • July 31, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, Trust • 6 Comments

    Trust. A concept that creates such a strong bond yet is so easily broken. It is one of the few things that you can be building up for so long and in a single moment, completely shatter it. How do you reconcile this? Because even after trust has been regained, there’s always that doubt that creeps in; once it’s been polluted, it can never be made completely pure. Yes, there is forgiveness and Yes, there can be reconciliation, but when something so pure is defiled, it will always be tainted. There’s no taking back and no making up for broken trust; once it’s done, there’s no turning back. You learn to live with it and learn to forgive over and over again, going each day trying not to think about the way in which you were deceived. A certain paranoia takes over and as much as you fight it, it’s always there. Trust no longer becomes natural, but becomes a day-to-day decision and choice.

    In relationships, trust is one of the single most important factors to keep that connection alive. Because without trust, how can you love? In 1 Corinthians 13 it says, “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” When a person is constantly lied to and deceived, how can they continue to love? They want to so badly, but fear being hurt again; and as trust is regained, they make themselves more vulnerable again, only to be wounded once more? Because when a lie is told, does it not pollute everything; even up to the three most valued words of “I love you.” How can you be so sure that those three words are spoken in truth when out of the same mouth flows the poison of deception?

    And how is it that the people who want someone to confide in and trust, are also are the first ones to cheat, lie or deceive? Is that not some sort of sick irony? They claim to be protective, yet are the ones causing the harm. They claim to be faithful, yet are the ones looking over their shoulder at that other guy or other girl. They claim to always be there for you, yet are the ones who are gone when you need them most. They claim to love you, but must not realize that in love there is also trust.

    This is why you have to choose to love through the hurt and you have to choose to trust through the deceit because really how can you ever be sure of anything? The truth is you really can’t be without trusting first.

    That is why I say that Trust is a choice you make and a risk you take. Good luck!

    6 Responses to Trust

    1. Truth
      July 31, 2013 at 10:47 am

      You have written the truth here.

      It happened to me, for years my trusting heart was taken advantage of by an ungrateful fool in the name of “friendship” until one day I understood relationships only work with two people. I asked them to just go ahead and stay with the other person. They didn’t but I have never been the same. I don’t trust anymore, no matter how hard I try.

      Don’t play with people’s heart and feelings in the end you are the only one who will lose.

    2. blue
      July 31, 2013 at 12:11 pm

      Yes lets quote from the bible but leave out so much And now you live by the bible how precious yett everything prior is just an exp for you wow ….love is a choice and is not boastful,proud harbor any evil deceipt and yet there you are so hypocritical dare me to expose how

    3. Someone
      July 31, 2013 at 3:30 pm

      At first, I disagreed with what you were writing, but I came to agree with you at the end. I thought, sure people hurt you and you start thinking of that hurt when you want to put your trust in others, but it’s something you risk when you want to be close to them. And then I reread the end and thought, wait, I’m thinking the same way as the author. 🙂

      Also, regarding Blue’s comment, it doesn’t matter how much or little you quote from the bible or wherever, as long as it’s a quote that adds to whatever you wrote.

    4. To All Of You It Is Not I
      July 31, 2013 at 4:23 pm

      I say this to all including the author & both commentators…I think I know one of you & no it isn’t I as I would never dare offend in any way or stir them up just for a reaction as that’s not who I am now! I even submitted a letter for the first time in ages…

      Number three I think it is. Ciao xco,

      off to work now:)


    5. Great Quote
      August 1, 2013 at 3:27 am

      God, Zig Ziglar has been around for so long, I couldn’t find the quote. No matter..I recall it nearly verbatim:

      “If you lie to someone …just once… they will always be questioning what you tell them in the future”

      (He had those very distinctive pauses…his trademark)

    6. Skeptic
      August 1, 2013 at 1:17 pm

      I agree that trust is fragile, but it is important for the author to remember to not harbor resentment or hate because both are detrimental.

      Regarding blue’s comment; “Someone” said in their comment that in the end of this letter, the author speaks to the fact that trust is a choice just as you say love is a choice. In my opinion (emphasize on OPINION because I don’t want to try and change the author’s story), this letter kind of reminds me of Job where he questions and complains to God after he has been hurt so badly and everything is taken away from him, but in the end he realizes that despite everything, God is still just. Everyone struggles with the perfect concept of love because no one, besides God, can demonstrate it perfectly. It seems as if this author struggled with the concept of trust and love, but in the end realizes it is actually his/her own choice.

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