• The problem is…

    by  • July 31, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, To Everybody • 3 Comments

    I get anonymous venting, I really do but when you vent here, asking someone to stop behavior that is hurting you or saying you can’t forgive someone or won’t allow them back into your life (while ignoring them or building frustration in real life), you are not allowing the situation or person to resolve things in a healthy adult manner. Sometimes good people do or say things they shouldn’t in the heat of the moment and unless you actually speak to them, they probably don’t even know. Even if you know for a fact that your person comes here, you can’t possibly know that they read every single letter everyday or that they will know that your letter is for them, no matter how many clues you give.
    The solution is… honest face to face communication once you’ve calmed down. A possibly uncomfortable 10-20 minute conversation can change everything.

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    3 Responses to The problem is…

    1. Feedback
      July 31, 2013 at 11:33 pm

      Agreed but it also depends on the situation and people involved. I’m a venter. My person would always say they wanted honest communication. But it was one sided. So after a long time of dysfunction, I left. I told them why over and over again. And still I’m sure they are either in denial about why I left, or confused. I’m not talking about a one or two year relationship either. It spanned years. I agree that things CAN be resolved with face to face honest communication. But some people choose not to. It does no good to rehash or explain to someone unwilling to listen. It wasn’t always that way, but they regressed while I grew. So my type of closure is to vent here. It’s basically the same as talking to them. Because they didn’t hear me when I was still in their life either. I’m not sad, just accepting what is.


    2. Someone
      August 1, 2013 at 9:48 am

      I agree. Honest communication can work wonders!

      But venting is venting is venting, no matter what the topic is on. Why should those things you say be the things we shouldn’t vent on here?

      I’m just curious, because everyone has there own reasons for talking or not talking face to face. Sometimes you just can’t. And sometimes I vent on here and once I’ve collected my thoughts, I can talk to the person.

      There’s nothing quite like posting a letter for all to see, then coming back and rereading what I wrote and realizing how much of an idiot I was, or how right I was.


    3. Author
      August 2, 2013 at 6:30 am

      @feedback and @someone- lol I wasn’t saying I don’t think venting here is a good idea. I actually think it’s a great idea because you can try out what you’re planning to say to someone and sometimes get great feedback that can be really helpful and make you see another side of things. I’m more talking about people who say things so often here that they begin thinking they’ve actually said it to their person and their person isn’t responding how they want them to – because that don’t know. And, people who should talk to their person because every story has 2 sides and maybe instead of ignoring them in real life, they would find out that what they interpreted something as was not what their person intended at all. I’m not talking about decades old issues that have been spoken about at nauseum. Vent on!



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