• Feeling trapped

    by  • July 29, 2013 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 8 Comments

    You are probably over there, wherever you are… judging, judging away. You are probably making assumptions about what you choose to see and not to hear. I couldnt have made it any clearer, I want to be with you. You said no. You did. You have said no so many times, for many different reasons. But then there you are, back for more. So many years later, here you are again. Glutton for punishment? What did you think would happen? Whatever you may think is going on here is so much more complicated than it seems. If you wont talk to me truthfully about how you feel, without masking it behind the things you do I will continue to take my time in doing what I think is best for everyone. This is not the easy way out, it is still painful. However, if you ever want to tell me how much pain you are in because I am with the ‘wrong one’ I will try harder to stop that pain.

    8 Responses to Feeling trapped

    1. shit happens
      July 29, 2013 at 10:28 pm

      I’ve been in a similar predicament. If your person doesn’t want to really communicate then that is all you need to know. At one point I was a “glutton for punishment” but was also in a relationship I thought I wanted to leave. The other person not communicating with me turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Actions speak louder than words and if your person (or you for that matter) is not acting on feelings are you sure they are strong enough in the first place? Just food for thought. Good luck!

    2. Me73
      July 29, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      It’s cruel to post something like this. Do you gave any clue how many people’s heads you’re messing with by doing so? Unless it’s a game to you then well i guess that’s 1 point to you.

      Personally it’s killing me that I can’t tell him how I feel because he won’t even speak to me directly. I don’t know how to get him to listen and actually hear what I have to say even if I could. And for the record it fucking hurts like hell to love someone who constantly claims their undying love for another.

      If by chance – put a color in your next post. The color of your eyes or mine. But not hers. If you do then I won’t give up on us ever.

    3. Our eyes are the most vivid emerald green
      July 30, 2013 at 2:50 am

      Once again I”ve fallen prey to LINS as I belief it maybe one of the two commentators…? It sure sounds like them in different moods mind you:)

      @shithappens: I’m not even going to say what really truthfully happened and you know this if this is you:) You should really think hard & re-valuate what the real truths are…I’m past that & have always believed in true love which some ppl never understand sadly.

      @ Me73: If this is who I’d like to believe it is J? A man can only wish as my heart was always yours regardless of what happened in the past as that is the beauty of love is it not? To forgive and move forward together stronger?

      @author: no one should judge when love is concerned and even if you were her as a man you are giving an ultimatum covering both bases as it means you are only misleading the other man and I would not be one to lower myself to tread on his toes and hurt him in the process? That is so wrong on every level and reveals who you really are and your morals does it not? This pains me to say this because what if it is the woman I still love? Not the right answer she’d think but an honest & morally correct one. I would want her to freely give her love not by what your saying. How would a man ever trust her as she is playing a game where yet again another man is hurt and one day could be me yet again. No thank you

    4. Author
      July 30, 2013 at 5:09 am

      Shit Happens: thank you, I appreciate the feedback. Hearing other peoples comments often helps put things in perspective for me.

      Me73: you are kidding right? I am posting a letter that I would never send to someone in my life. I am not here screwing around with anyones head. This letter is from a female to a male. This male is not here, and if he was he would never elude to it.

    5. Nobody
      July 30, 2013 at 5:45 am

      Unless the one this is addressed to is with someone else as well, it’s up to you to decide and not the other. One thing seems pretty clear though, with feelings and thoughts like you have expressed, you are with “the wrong one” and yes, are taking the easy way (IMO). You have to find, and do things for you and not others. Not easy by a long shot, I realize that, I know and been there but truth nonetheless. Best wishes to you!

    6. perspective
      July 30, 2013 at 8:19 am

      It doesn’t have to be about judgement per se. It could be as simple as someone realizing that a particular situation or person isn’t good for them. People make choices every day with whatever information they have and act accordingly. Maybe they don’t have all the info. Maybe they don’t care to have it. Some people seem to do a 180 with no forewarning. It’s happened to me. It’s just life. I don’t bother with people whom don’t want to see the whole picture or take my feelings into account. Why should anyone?

    7. me73
      July 30, 2013 at 10:15 am

      @oureyes

      then we – shall we say – both understand the situation. it’s easier to think it isn’t real than to realize i’m damned no matter what i do. when the notion of your interest first hit me i knew there would be no respectable or painless course of action… and although i wish it’s wasn’t so – you are quite right I know as do you.

      i can’t change how i feel about you, i hope you still feel the same about me as you once did. please understand that you would have been my first and only choice if i’d had the option at the time. i need validation that everything will be okay again one day more than anything.

      regardless i believe with all my heart that we were put in each other’s life for some reason. i just don’t know exactly what that is yet. and let’s hope it’s not actually for a lesson. true love lasts forever even if it can’t be embraced right?

    8. @me73
      July 30, 2013 at 1:10 pm

      Yes you know I’ve always felt exactly the same since that very first night at Clarence’s. Not a moment has passed since that night that you have ever left my thoughts for more than a moment. You are my very first thought when I awaken & I pray every night as you are my last! I cannot express my love any more than that?

      I will admit I feel your not saying something by your second and third paragraph? I understand your became and maybe pregnant? as you couldn’t help but tell me:) We were apart at the time so I could never blame you or feel betrayed as we weren’t together. You will be amazed at who I now am as it is not just talk but action. I sincerely ask one favour of you if this is you M?

      We will never be able to meet if you don’t have a change of heart at that Joondalup office? You do know it cost me my last job what happened? I’m not even upset which can only further prove how much my love is genuine for you? That still will affect me in my future which is the only thing I would ask of you to prove to me in a sense & only if you feel its right to do so as you are under no obligation of any sort as I accepted it along time ago.

      If this is truly you I no longer have the same numbers either and I would want nothing more than to be able to talk to you….even if it were for one last time if that is what you feel is necessary? You have my address I left you in that last email? Its a street from the man who tried to oppose Robbin Hood….The Sheriff of……..N & the number is one more than your name day. Even now I hope you are sincere as you know this has huge implications for me yet here I am & glad I never gave up hope as I always believed what we had was something out of a fairy tale. Magical & majestic which very few will ever have as the love we have is nothing I’ve ever felt before or seen in others…not even my parents and that’s saying something. If we which I do desire grow from this you realise there will never be another hurdle such as the one we have both so endured this year? Now wouldn’t that be a blessing from God himself? Things will have to be laid out on the table….that is for later though, not to far off in the future if we travel this journey together once more as I believe it is necessary and we can talk all we want when that time comes?

      Will you not be brave and come the moment you read this? I will cancel my work I have in an instant & I know you have more than enough leave? Lets be spontaneous about this how say you? You do realise you’ve made this day something I’ll always remember if this is you Babylious? I can only hope so……stuff it…my home ph. number is in the book as you know my last name…its easy to find. God grant me this one last wish as I’m going to definitely be called crazy otherwise:)

      😀

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