Sometimes it hurts, but I swear I’ll never let you go. Other people may come and go and break your heart. I won’t. I’ll help you pick up the pieces. I’ll help you and never let your soul break.
You know, I really love you.
I struggled with it a long time. At first, I hated you. I hated you so much.
It didn’t start that way, though. I remember. You were just a kid. You played with your siblings and neighborhood friends. You were free. You were awesome.
Somewhere along the line, you started losing pieces of yourself. You started breaking down. When you looked in the mirror, you didn’t see yourself, you didn’t see me, you saw a shadow. A darkness swirling around and around.
You would fall into that darkness, like falling into a well where you would cut your hands trying to climb, out only to fall back into that dark pit. Then you would wrap the darkness about you like a cloak, and go on your way, thinking that it was something you had to accept. Something you had to carry.
I can see now how it all started. You were broken, torn in half. You have that bright amazing side. The delightful optimism, with that naive air where you see every person as good, as innocent. It was your natural habit, and we still have it now. That nature where you believe in someone, trust in someone- at least once they’ve crossed our wall.
But this stands in stark contrast with the conflicting wills and emotions that were placed on you. The difficulty in talking about things that troubled you. You want so badly to be optimistic, kind, and to not trouble others that you couldn’t even talk about things. Others had their opinions. They strongly believed in their rightness. What is your opinion then compared to theirs? Why say anything at all if it won’t change their mind and possibly only get you into trouble? How can you talk about things to them or to anyone?
So you built up that wall. Buried things deep inside. Until there came a point where you didn’t think you were awesome anymore. You thought you were useless, a nonentity, something that was just alive to die one day. Your life had no purpose but to run along the tracks laid in front of you by others.
But I’ll tell you something. You weren’t wrong to build that wall. I’m not saying it was right, but it’s how we met. That wall trapped you and me together. It was the first time we saw each other, the first time we realized something was wrong. It was the turning point of our life.
You started to make better choices, and you began to change for the better. Some were small steps; Others were leaps and bounds, but every bit made a difference. And now I love you. I think you’re amazing and awesome. And you still have a ways to go, but I can finally see that light inside.
You are finally becoming someone I’m truly proud of, someone that I can look at in the mirror and not be irritated or disgusted by. You’ve begun talking about things you used to never talk about to anyone but me, and I know it makes you happy. It makes you happy to finally say your thoughts to another person. To just say what you’ve always thought of saying.
And you just made a huge break through, one I’m really proud of. You’ve begun to think of others before yourself. You’ve begun to think of other people’s thoughts and feelings where before you only thought of yourself.
I’m proud of you. I hope you keep making these changes for the better.
You know, you’re really beautiful, too. The way you smile, and the way your eyes light up when you’re happy.