• Done

    by  • July 28, 2013 • Thoughts • 3 Comments

    One of those moments where I realized that I’m more than 1,200 calories a day.
    When I realized that I am more than that fucking number on the scale or the size I wear.
    Where my self-hatred morphs into this fury against the criticisms that are constantly fueled by society.
    Where I realize that we all blame media for creating a mindset, but we are the media. We create it ourselves until we’re sucked in and will only be happy when we find what is acceptable.
    Where I realize that I’ll never be good enough for anyone else until I’m good enough for myself.
    Where I realize I don’t know where to start and the fear creeps in.
    Where I turn and go back to restricting and obsessive thoughts.
    Where the cycle begins again.
    Where we say society wins.
    But in reality, we are the monster itself.

    3 Responses to Done

    1. lol
      July 28, 2013 at 6:32 pm

      I actually agree with this, thats why I like blind people because they dont judge with there eyes. Its not all about image they like you for who you are.

    2. True or False
      July 28, 2013 at 6:53 pm

      Whether you think you’re a monster or not….you’re probably right either way! We are what we believe ourselves to be. I highly suggest being more kind to yourself…change the way you think…take one baby step at a time and go FORWARD! Don’t look behind…you’ll get to where you want to be if you want it enough. Don’t think of restrictions….think of improving your mind, body and spirit.

      When we change the way we think….the cells in our body literally leap for joy! Not my word…but the proof in numerous brain imaging studies. You are what you think! Hope this helps…worked for me. I decided to increase intellect….sought higher education at 39 years of age….studied hard the sciences….I built a new me….now my services are in demand.

      But the best part of it all….is that I truly love who I’ve become. I am the person I always thought I could be, but I let stuff get in the way…including people….what society said I should be was just a cloud before my eyes….a mere stumbling block. Not a waste of time though….cause you see…I was just not ready. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt post.

    3. Mai
      July 28, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      From the outside looking in. That is easier said than done after being told over two centuries, how you look is unacceptable. Not only unacceptable, it’s unattractive and no one clearly wants that. Is a tough knot to untangle in the soul. I on the other hand must drop weight for health reasons that’s threatening, to take away one of my God giving purposes in the earth. I am definitely not fighting the urge to not, eat a cookie over society or some guy. 🙂

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