It’s been a while since I wrote anything about my life, so here goes nothing. See, it’s filled with problems. I know what you’re thinking; “everyone has problems”, true, but every persons story should be told, and what better way to tell the world MY story thru writing.
Sometimes I wish I had a different life. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret anything that has happened so far, but there were some mistakes I’ve made that I wish I could take back. I joined the Marines when I was 18, I felt it was the only way to help my dad get thru. Everything I do is for him, that’s great and all, but I can’t remember the last time I did something for me. I wanted to stay in the Marines so bad, I loved it, every second of it, but I got out, for dad, for my family. Ever since I’ve been back everything was put on my shoulders. I’ve paid every single bill for five, six people. Yes, they take advantage of my kindness, but what else is there for me to do world?, am I supposed to just let my family suffer as I succeed. Is that even ethical?. I cry as I write this, I’ve wanted to say these words to someone, but people are to busy for other peoples problems, and that’s understanding. So I just keep to myself, my feelings, thoughts, all to myself. I could be a successful person, but instead I choose to be living in the ghetto’s, getting robbed every day and drinking alcohol every opportunity I get.
I’ve put my dreams aside, I’ve put my life on hold for my family. I get nothing in return, not that I’m asking for anyting, but I could use a break, the world is starting get real heavy on my shoulders and it’s not getting any lighter. One day, world, one day I’m going to be happy, but until then I’m going to write about how I feel. I’m tired of bottling it all in and hiding behind a smile. Yes, it’s depressing but it’s life; life is depressing. Everyone you pass in the streets everyday is sad in some shape or form, I mean, we all die sad in the inside.
Thanks for listening world, there is a lot more to tell you, maybe tomorrow will be different, maybe not. Here’s to wishful thinking, here’s to you world.
The Wishful Thinker